Don’t blame Turkish dentists for teeth nightmares – the problem is our terrifying obsession with perfection
THREE years ago I had a brilliant holiday in Turkey with my friend Nicola.
She had a gaping hole in her mouth before we went and by the time we flew back she’d had major work to fill it.
She needed two crowns fitted. It was going to cost her thousands over here.
So, with a recommendation from her cousin who had already had her teeth fixed in Turkey, she rang the same dentist, discussed treatment and booked in for a QUARTER of the price it would cost here. I went with her for the ride.
It was a state-of- the art clinic, the staff spoke perfect English. Even though it was pre-Covid, we were given plastic coverings for our shoes, made to wear masks and sanitise our hands.
A couple of hours after she’d had screws put in jaw and been given a large dose of pain relief we were out knocking back Turkish wine.
It went without a glitch. She needed two holidays for all the treatment.
But with the cost of those, a fair bit of booze, a couple of leather handbags and the dentistry work it was STILL cheaper than in the UK.
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Yet this week it was clear she is one of the lucky ones.
This week a BBC documentary Turkey Teeth: Bargain Smiles Or Big Mistake? revealed that HALF of UK dentists have had to sort out problems with patients’ teeth after they travelled to Turkey for cheap treatment.
One woman was given crowns instead of veneers, another had ten front teeth stuck together.
The “Turkey Teeth” trend has been made popular by Love Island and Towie stars having the cosmetic dental treatment.
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It is quite gruesome and involves filing teeth down to fangs or stubs, before the perfect-looking neon white crowns or veneers are fitted.
Think Jack Fincham, Katie Price, Cheryl or Simon Cowell, perfect gnashers are a must in the land of showbiz.
UK dentists say it is a “disaster zone”, and that those who fork out for it are at risk of needing root canal treatments, extractions and dentures if the Turkish dentists mess things up.
One dentist said he was seeing a Turkish botch job every month.
But if I was going to have my teeth ground down for a glitzy new white set I WOULD go to the dentist Nicola used in Marmaris.
I know he’s a good dentist. I’ve seen his work and had recommendations. Nobody should ever have cosmetic treatments without that.
Here you can find out about bad dentists, underqualified practitioners who pump lip fillers into young teens, leaving them looking like Daffy Duck or dodgy doctors who lie about working on London’s Harley Street to prey on people so we can avoid them at all costs.
But abroad we don’t have that luxury.
Preying on the needy
If a surgeon or dentist has been taken to court, reported for malpractice, slagged off in the local paper or on Facebook for destroying a nose or mouth we may struggle to find out because it is in a different language.
And that is allowing a vicious circle, with unscrupulous cosmetic “professionals” preying on the needy.
There are companies who offer cosmetic surgery holidays, a break in the sunshine with a bit of liposuction, face lift or nose job chucked in.
Leave gloomy Britain for Brazil, Thailand or Poland looking like a bag of spuds and return as a double for Kylie Jenner.
Plus you get to hide away while your scars fade and work on your tan, knowing the all-inclusive package deal still costs less than treatment in the UK. It’s big business.
And what is also big business is the lawyers queuing up, ready and waiting to take on your claim when it all goes terribly wrong. Because invariably it does.
The facts are simple. You are going to a foreign land where the laws are different regarding regulations, training, hygiene, qualifications and after-care.
It isn’t really the jaw-dropping low prices that are the problem because they are bound to be cheaper. Things often cost less in these countries. Over in Turkey, for example, lab costs and dentist fees are about half the price.
And the problem isn’t really Turkish dentists. The problem is us, for letting someone grind down our teeth without first checking out EXACTLY who they are because of our terrifying obsession with perfection.
Eye say: Below the belt!
I USED to think conscious uncoupling was a bit nauseating.
But when you see celebs rip each other apart after splitting, it’s clearly the better option.
Actors Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans are prime examples.
It all publically started to go wrong in January last year when mum-of-two Alice revealed her Hornblower and Liar star husband was leaving her.
There have been all kinds of accusations from her since – including gaslighting, mental torture and cheating.
Now this week, in court papers, it has hit a new low.
Ioan claims she had been verbally abusive during their 14-year marriage and not only savagely mocked his hair loss but his “saggy vagina eyes” too.
I defy anybody not to scrutinise his appearance after reading that.
That’s a rail service
THE train strikes have driven us all mad.
And the thought of another three on the way is infuriating because it will cause us all more chaos.
But I need to wind my neck in about bad-mouthing rail workers.
Last month, I left my laptop computer on a platform at Nuneaton train station.
I realised on route to Leicester it was missing and went into a blind panic. Train staff contacted the station.
Within an hour it was located and when I returned two days later to collect it, a cheery station manager even greeted me at the door of my train to hand-deliver it to me.
I wrote a thank-you letter to East Midlands customer service and they responded by saying: “It’s not often customers take time to write in with positive comments, so thanks for getting in touch.”
If Carlsberg did train staff . . .
Cor-rie blimey
I DISCOVERED this week that all you need is a 60-minute episode of Coronation Street to keep up with some of the latest issues in the world.
In the past week the residents on the cobbles have dealt with stalking, erectile dysfunction, alcoholism, family inheritance and deep fake porn (I had to Google that one).
Tune in for more terrifying storylines next week.
Heating advice is just uncool
I KNOW the risk to elderly and vulnerable people in a heatwave is serious.
But did there really need to be a NATIONAL EMERGENCY Cobra meeting on Thursday.
Today’s story about barmy health chiefs hiring a Portuguese heatwave consultant to tell us to open our windows and go to a supermarket or church to cool off shows how ridiculous it has become.
Unions say teachers will use “professional judgment to cancel or reschedule any activities involving strenuous exercise to protect children and staff”.
Other unions have urged firms to allow staff to work from home and suggested bin collectors get issued with brollies.
How about we stop getting treated like melting snowflakes?
It’s the kind of heat we pay stupid amounts of money to enjoy.
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We all managed to get through it in 1976, when the heatwave lasted TEN WEEKS. And apparently everybody enjoyed it too.
How about we try to do the same?