The 10 Things the Bezoses Are Almost Certainly Grateful for Each Morning

“On a typical day, the newlyweds wake up around 6 in their new, roughly $230 million compound on Indian Creek, an exclusive private island in Miami often called ‘Billionaire Bunker.’ They don’t touch their phones. Instead, they begin each day by listing 10 things they’re grateful for—and they can’t repeat what they named the day before.”  — The New York Times

Monday, 6 a.m.

1. Money.

2. Our new, roughly $230 million compound on Indian Creek, an exclusive private island in Miami often called “Billionaire Bunker.”

3. Our stunning physical appearance, both natural and man-made.

4. Our close, continuing friendship with Leonardo DiCaprio, someone with whom we are able to discuss the travails of yacht ownership. A subject not everyone understands!

5. Jared Kushner. A friend close enough that he’s invited to our wedding!

6. How much less bad news there is to read anymore! Especially in that one paper—what’s it called?

7. The great view we had of Donald Trump’s inauguration, right on the stage and everything! Everyone should see J. D. Vance up close before they die.

8. Not having to worry that anyone we meet will tell us their honest opinion. There is a certain net worth above which you will never hear an honest opinion from anyone ever again, and we crossed that threshold $120 billion ago.

9. Family. Family, of course.

10. Access to the best air—the really good, fancy air.

Tuesday, 6 a.m.

1. Narwhals.

2. A thing I didn’t know about myself until I had this much money was how charming I was, how good all my ideas were, and how everything I had to say was interesting. And … I’m grateful for that.

3. Money We said “money” yesterday. Love.

4. The yacht, of course.

5. How much cake there is to eat in the world. More people should try cake.  

6. That I haven’t had that awful dream in a long time. The one from which I wake up screaming.

7. Early access to the Melania documentary! Some things money can’t buy, but … that is not one of them.

8. The ability to leave the planet sometimes, if we want! For a girls’ trip, even!

9. Sydney Sweeney!

10. The things that money can’t buy, which it turns out money can buy, if you have enough money. Or is that “money” again?

Wednesday, 6 a.m.

1. Money

2. Our wonderful seats at the inauguration, and the little golden eggs they served there.

3. That I could pee in a bottle if I wanted, but I never have to.

4. My coffee mug that says Woke Up Sexy as Hell Again and my coffee mug that says Hunk.

5. Hors d’oeuvres!

6. Anna Wintour’s respect.

7. What’s the word for never having to go anywhere you don’t want to go or do anything you don’t want to do?

8. Never having to smell a subway again!

9. The knowledge that although now we are saving the narwhals, if one day we were suddenly to decide that we wanted to destroy the narwhals, we could do so just as easily, and no one would stop us.

10. That there’s so much beauty in the world. Especially the higher and farther away from it you get.

Thursday, 6 a.m.

1. In the dream everything smelled like burning hair, and I was flailing in dark water while missiles exploded overhead, and all I wanted was to protect my family, and I couldn’t, because the people who were in charge of everything couldn’t see me, couldn’t hear me, were so high up in their helicopters and so secure in their bunkers that they didn’t think my life had anything to do with them. I’m grateful for getting to wake up from that dream and lie next to you!

2. Our new $230 million compound on Billionaire Bunker!

3. Cake.

4. Helicopters!

5. The Met Gala!

6. All the bad news we don’t know about, and all the good news we do!

7. How thick the gate is at our compound!

8. How well trained our security officers are!

9. How nice everything is. Just nice, all the time.

10. Money! No. We said that yesterday.