5 Crucial Life Lessons We Learned From ‘The L Word’
It’s Pride Month, gaybies! So of course, everything I’m watching is queer and I used this time to revisit one of the best shows of all time, The L Word.
While rewatching this for the fourth or fifth time all the way through, I started to pick up on more things other than just how bad Shane’s hair was or how insufferable Jenny can be. The L Word is about so much more than just the lesbians of LA and their interconnected and sometimes messy lives. There are so many valuable lessons to be learned from these girls in tight dresses who drag with mustaches. Let’s take a deeper dive into the 5 most important lessons from The L Word.
Be with someone who is ready to be with you
Relationships are a give and take and they encompass everyone’s feelings, so you can’t neglect your own for the sake of your partner. A classic example of this is how Tim stayed with Jenny no matter how poorly she treated him and their relationship. Jenny was very clearly not ready to be in a relationship with him, and didn’t even know what type of person she wanted to be in a relationship with, but he kept pushing because it’s what he wanted. Her lack of clarity in who she is stifled their relationship and led to its demise because she wasn’t ready to be herself and that meant she didn’t want to be with Tim either. If you’re in a situationship or the early stages of a relationship and that person’s actions don’t match with their words, run.
Always have nipple confidence
Nipple Confidence is the woman equivalent to “BDE” and every woman should have nipple confidence. This phrase was used by Alice to describe Shane, and it encapsulates exactly how women should approach their own persona. It basically says, “I may not be perfect but I know I’m all that and a bag of chips so I’ll act like it”. Perfect nipples don’t exist, and neither do perfect people, but if we live up to the confidence we want to exude, then you’ve mastered it honey!
Learn to feel even when it’s hard
Shane hands down has the hardest time expressing any emotion in The L Word. It’s why she avoids relationships and focuses so hard on things that are simple, like sex. Throughout the show, we do see Shane start to lighten her tough exterior and have deeper, meaningful connections on the show. She has these connections even though she’s terrified of feeling things that aren’t easy to feel. Obviously, it doesn’t always go perfectly and I’ll never forgive Shane for leaving Carmen at the altar, but she does learn and grow from those experiences. So, if you have a tough time feeling your feelings, just know that if Shane can do it, you can to. They’re all worth it in the end.
Your friends will always be there to lean on
Your friends really are your chosen family and when your real family doesn’t step to the plate, they’ll all be there. This show teaches us time and time again that you can always lean on your closest friends to be a shoulder, an ear, and a confidant to tell you what you need to hear even if you don’t want to. Your friends are the people who stick around even when they don’t have to, showcasing that sometimes that bond can be thicker than anything that is blood related. You need your friends, and they need you too.
It’s not your job to make anyone more comfortable
Throughout The L Word, there are many moments where people feel uncomfortable with the women on the show. Whether that’s because they’re gay, strong, powerful, and don’t take any BS, it doesn’t matter. The leading women of the show will always stand up for what they believe and they will continue to do it even in the face of adversity. The L Word reminds us that even if you don’t fit into an ideal box that someone else wants for you, that’s okay because you are exactly as you need to be, regardless of mistakes you’ve made along the way. Always be you.