Card Carrying: The Chicago Finance Guy Who Dropped $1300 on Bottle Service in Brazil

In this week’s Card-Carrying, SPY’s ongoing exploration of how men dispose of their disposable income, a Chicago-based Finance Guy hands over his credit card statement and explains why he spent $1,300 on one trip to a bottle-service club in Brazil.

January 27

Charge: The Office, $102.25

The Office is a cool speakeasy in Chicago, where I live. It only fits around 12 people — it’s really hard to get a reservation. I had to book it about a month out. I went with my college roommate. The night was just a couple of boys reminiscing.

The Office has whiskies from, like, 400 years ago, but they also do custom cocktails. If you say something like, “Oh, I wish I was at a Cubs game in the summertime,” they’ll make you a drink that reminds you of that. I ordered one that I wanted to taste like peach gummy candies — but not sweet. Not a girly drink — just peach-inspired.

February 6

Charge: Goodman’s Barber Lounge, $76.90

Goodman’s is a barbershop; I got a haircut. I’ve been going there for probably nine months. My barber is a 22-year-old super fly-looking dude. He was like, “You know, you have a bad haircut — would you be interested in something different? Like, a mid-fade or something else that says, ‘I’m cool! I’m down!” 

I asked him what my current haircut says about me. He told me that it says I’m a control freak. I said I just wanted the cut I get normally. It was rude. I don’t know if I’m going to go back.

February 7

Charges: Amex Travel (Palo Santo Hotel in Buenos Aires), $630.76 for the  

Last month, I went down to Brazil during Carnival; I visited Buenos Aires and São Paolo, as well as Florianópolis, a beach town south of São Paolo. I picked the Palo Santo Hotel because it’s in Palermo, which is a hip neighborhood with a lot of young people. Plus, it was cheap — $600 for three or four nights. 

February 9

Charge: 300 Cosmo Beach Club Florianopolis, $1,308.64

Florianópolis is a beach town with a bunch of clubs. I went to the 300 Cosmo Beach Club with some friends from Chicago. The number listed on my statement was the deposit — the end charge was around $2,000.

We did bottle service. We got a bunch of champagne and a few shots here and there. There was loud house music. Strobe lights, smoke along the ground. Velvet ropes. The booths with the sleazy guys around. It was pretty classic. 

Also, in Brazil, prostitution is legal; probably a quarter of the women there were sex workers. So, when you meet someone or offer to buy them a drink, you have to suss that out. It was a little awkward.

But we also met other locals. The club was packed full of people a lot of beautiful Brazilian people. There were four girls there who had just graduated from dental school and barely spoke English — I do not speak Portuguese, or if I do, I speak it like a toddler — but they came back to our place for the after-party and stuff. It was great.

February 15

Charge: Huto Restaurante, Sao Paolo, $342.71

Huto is a Michelin-starred Japanese restaurant in Sao Paulo. I went with a lady friend who I met on my trip. We did 14 courses; my favorite was the simple tuna nigiri. The interior was traditional Japanese: low tables and tall curtains. Dark, dim, romantic. We got a bottle of white wine. It was everything you could want. My lady friend enjoyed it as well. 

February 20

Charge: Starbucks, Chicago, $25

There’s a Starbucks in my apartment building, so it’s hard to go out of my way to do something local when it’s literally downstairs. I only order one thing: an iced shaken latte with brown sugar and oat milk. It’s one of their featured drinks. 

February 24

Charge: GoPuff, Chicago, $71.27

This is a convenience store delivery. I ordered Zyn Spearmint Nicotine Pouches. Finance bro! I’ve used them for three months. Honestly, I got enough finance memes on Twitter that finally, I was like, ‘This could be funny to try!’ But now I actually do it. It’s so bad.

February 27

Charge: Hims & Hers Health, $395

I have a weight-loss regimen from Hims. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life — previous to Hims, I was on Ozempic for nine months. I lost 50 pounds on it. 

But since Ozempic got really popular, it’s been difficult to find it in stock. And so, because of that, I’ve had to turn to Instagram health products. It’s not as effective. And, because it’s out of pocket, it’s obviously expensive — nearly $400 for a three-month supply. But I figure something is better than nothing.