My friend’s boyfriend earns £100k but she still claims benefits…I’m her free childcare & people say I’m a mug
BEING able to rely on your friends through hard times is a wonderful thing.
One woman feels that her kindness has been taken for granted after offering her friend free childcare – only to discover that she is a benefits fraud.
Heartbreakingly, the woman has only come to this realisation after years of supporting her friend.
Recalling the moment the penny dropped on Mumsnet, she revealed that she’d initially wanted to help her friend after she fell on hard times.
Posting in the ‘Am I being unreasonable’ thread, she told others: “One of my close friend’s husband left her when she was pregnant for another woman.
“Understandably it completely shattered my friend’s world… they had been childhood sweethearts and together for 10 years.”
Wanting to help her friend in any way she could, the Mumsnet user would go to the house every day and take care of the newborn – while her friend cried.
As the years went by though, this continued she became more and more drained – especially as the main topic of conversation would be the other woman.
Though her friend would eventually meet someone new, this only increased the tension between the two women.
Not only is the Mumsnet user still caring for the child but her friend is now allegedly earning £400 from a cleaning job because of the additional childcare.
The post continued: “She’s still claiming her benefits, getting cash in hand and her single-person council tax discount.”
Meanwhile, her friend’s new partner earns £70k from his job, has a property that he rents out and reportedly makes an extra £30k selling illegal streaming devices.
Understandably, the Mumsnet user has been left feeling a little resentful and said: “ I feel used and like I’ve lost my friend who I’ve put so much effort into helping emotionally and at times financially.
“I’m recently separated from my child’s dad [and] I don’t feel that same support or understanding from her but more like she looks down on me. I can’t describe it.”
Unsurprisingly, many in the group have urged the poster to walk away from the friendship.
“Yeah, this would bother me too (especially the benefits thing). I think you need to stop the free childcare and distance yourself from her,” suggested one concerned commenter.
Others agreed, with another adding: “You should stop doing the free childcare immediately. With their joint income, they can easily pay for it! Take the time back to look after yourself.”
A third pointedly commented: “She seems to have forgotten who her friends are now she doesn’t need them.
“It’s not unusual for people to do that when in a new relationship…it sucks [but] stop doing her favours.
“She is committing fraud so it’s up to you whether to report her for that.”
“That’s what happens when you become someone’s doormat, they wipe their feet on you… Drop her and move on.”
We wonder how we would have acted in this scenario.
How to check what benefits you could be entitled to
The quickest way to see what benefits you may be able to claim is to use one of the three benefit calculators recommended by Gov.uk.
Each one is free to use. They are:
Before using the tools, make sure you have key financial information to hand, such as bank and savings statements, and information on pensions and existing benefits.
If you live with a partner or family, get their basic financial information together too as this could affect your claim.
For each of these, you’ll be asked information about your circumstances, such as your current employment and income.
You’ll also need to give information about yourself, including your age and who you live with.
You can then use the contact information on Gov.uk to get the ball rolling and apply for what you’re owed.
Of course, the tools only provide an indicator of what benefits you can claim – and usually don’t include means tested benefits, so you may be entitled to even more.