I’m a nanny – what to do if your child deliberately hurts themselves when they’re angry and why it happens
IT can be incredibly frustrating, and worrying, to deal with a child who hurts themselves when they’re angry.
As a parent, there’s nothing worse than seeing your child in pain – and when they do it to themselves, it can be very confusing.
But nanny Laura Amies has revealed several measures you can take to try and help your child if you’re in this situation, and also explained just why it happens.
“Firstly, it’s really common for a youngster to lash out at themselves when frustration mounts,” she wrote in a post on her Instagram page.
“Picture a pan of water on the hob bubbling and as it reaches boiling point the water spills out over the sides.
“That’s the equivalent to most forms of aggression.
“The emotion get too much and actions bubble over.”
But what should you do if you find yourself in that situation?
Well, according to Laura, there are nine points to follow to try and deal with it.
Firstly, you need to give the appearance that you’re doing nothing, whilst also keeping a “close eye” on the situation.
You should also physically or mentally make a note of the time, while seeing if you can pinpoint a trigger.
It’s vital to stay calm, and you should be careful about the language that you use – “no questions or pleading”, Laura advised.
“Do not give in,” Laura said, while also urging parents not to offer sweet treats or bribes, as they “are not the answer”.
She concluded her suggestions by insisting that you shouldn’t “offer heightened attention”, and also “give them time to work through it”.
Laura added that while this behaviour is “very common and usually stems from frustration”, there can in some situations be underlying issues.
And, “in instances where a child is genuinely hurting themselves and/or despite your logical approach, it’s not easing up, there’s never any harm in seeking the opinion of your GP or health visitor”.
What should I do if my child hurts themselves deliberately?
- Seemingly nothing, whilst keeping a close eye
- Physically or mentally take note of the time
- See if you can pinpoint a trigger
- Stay calm
- Limit language – no questions or pleading
- Do not give in
- Sweet treats or bribes are not the answer
- Avoid offering heightened attention
- Give them time to work through it
“Logic over panic,” she concluded.
In the caption for her post, Laura added that she used to hurt herself when she got things wrong at school.
“It’s awful to think back and remember those feelings of fear, inadequacy, self hatred…..” she wrote.
“I DESPERATELY wish I could travel back in time to tell school aged Laura that she wasn’t thick, she just didn’t learn well in that environment!”