In my 7 years being sober, I've learned that a 'sobriety tool kit' helps me stay away from alcohol over the holidays. Here's how to make your own.

• I've been sober for seven years, and I created a sobriety tool kit to help me over the years.
• Knowing your triggers and how to stay centered is key, so is having people to keep you accountable.
• Here's how to create your own sobriety tool kit to help get you through the holiday season.

Whether the company holiday party has an open bar or your dad insists you try his signature cocktail, for many, alcohol is as much of a holiday tradition as menorahs or mistletoe. But what if you're newly sober or dabbling in sober curiosity? Having a sobriety tool kit at the ready can be a huge help in calming any anxieties you have about maintaining your resolve.

A sobriety tool kit is a mental-health first-aid kit with physical and metaphorical items, all strategically added to help you stay sober one day at a time. Everyone's tool kit is different, and it may evolve — just like you. The tools I used at one year sober are different from the tools I use at seven years sober. If you're looking to create your own tool kit ahead of the holidays, here are a few items that you may find helpful.

Covering the basics

It's important to take care of your fundamental needs daily — especially during times of high stress. For me, this means taking my medication, exercising, going to therapy, and prioritizing alone time. 

In the recovery community, there's an acronym, HALT, which stands for "Hungry Angry Lonely Tired." It's often said that the best way to maintain your sobriety is to avoid those four feelings that often lead to irritability. And since you can't always avoid those feelings, you need to establish healthy coping skills for when you're feeling them, instead of relying on alcohol. 

Eat foods that leave you feeling nourished, or at least keep a snack in your bag, so you don't feel hangry. Establish a space where you can go to do something like breathing exercises if you feel upset while you're at a holiday party; a change of scenery can be a nice reset. Text a friend if you feel lonely instead of texting your hometown hookup — if you plan ahead, you can even pack a vibrator. And, of course, get plenty of sleep; rest is important. 

Choose a physical object that helps you feel calm

Once you have the basics covered, you can get creative. If there's a physical object that helps you feel especially at ease, that can be your tool kit's mascot. This can be anything from a rock you found at a beach with a loved one to a tarot card that helps you feel empowered; you might also find that wearing your grandmother's ring makes you feel especially calm. Sometimes just knowing you have something like this with you might help keep you at homeostasis. 

Katie Mack, a writer, actor, and the creator of the "F*cking Sober" podcast, has a tattoo of her stuffed koala, Kevin. "Kevin helps me feel grounded when the world seems like it's spinning out of control," Mack said. "I couldn't find my way into a traditional religious experience, so Kevin is a way I can reach for a higher power but in a silly way. It's kinda like how someone may use rosary beads in a prayer ritual, Kevin reminds me to stay present and grateful for what I have."

Have some practice conversations

While conversations aren't a physical tool for your tool kit, it can be nice to keep a few in your metaphorical back pocket. Choosing not to imbibe when the weather outside is frightful may prompt some questions, so create your standard "I don't want a drink" reply. 

You don't have to overshare about your recovery when someone casually asks if you want some eggnog. A simple "No, thank you!" works fine. Practice these convos in the mirror before you leave for the holiday party. Remember, most people won't pay attention to what you're drinking, but if you want to avoid any questions, seltzer on the rocks with lime works great.

Ask for what you need

When seltzer or water is the only option for those who aren't drinking alcohol, it can leave a nondrinker feeling like an afterthought. If you're close with the party host, ask them if they can provide a few other nonalcoholic drink options. 

There are also ways to let the host — or whoever you've come with — know how you're feeling and what you need in the moment without revealing too much. For example, you don't have to say, "Being around the family during early sobriety triggers my PTSD, which led me to drink in the first place." It can be as easy as, "Hey! I'm not feeling well. If I disappear for a bit, I'm out for a walk." 

Find an accountability buddy 

Accountability is essential for some folks when it comes to surviving the holidays without booze. When stressful moments pop up, grab your phone instead of grabbing a drink. Lisa Smith, the author of "Girl Walks Out of a Bar," recommends "bookending" your holiday gatherings with conversations with someone who you can talk to. "Tell a friend or your sponsor that you're going to call them before and after a potentially triggering event. This accountability can help keep you on track," she advises. 

You can also let someone know you might want to talk to them in the moment in case things feel stressful. It may not always be easy to ask for help. Ask a friend ahead of time if you can text or call if you feel anxious during a holiday party or event — it's highly likely your friend will be happy to be there for you.

This season can also spotlight unpleasant feelings for those estranged from their family. The most important "item" in a sobriety tool kit is to remember that you don't have to attend the event at all — and if you do decide to attend, keep in mind that you can leave whenever you want. 

Only you can make the rules and set the boundaries when it comes to managing your mental health during the holiday season. You can always decide to spend time with your chosen family and a pot of herbal tea.