I wrecked a date with a lovely woman as I couldn’t get an erection
DEAR DEIDRE: BECAUSE I couldn’t get an erection, I wrecked a date with a lovely woman.
I am a separated dad aged 32 and I’ve been single for five years, focusing on my seven-year-old son and bettering myself to provide for him.
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I met this woman over the summer and we had a few dates.
We really clicked and she invited me round to her place for dinner and a film.
Then I stayed the night but sex was a disaster.
I expected a quick finish but I couldn’t get an erection. I felt very embarrassed as I really like this girl. She’s 29.
I wondered whether it’s because I watch porn every day, the couple of beers I had for Dutch courage before meeting her, or if it was just nerves.
We arranged another date at mine but it was the same again.
Is this going to be a long-term issue?
I’ve hardly heard from her during lockdown. Have I put her off for good?
DEIDRE SAYS: It was probably mostly anxiety blocking your sexual responses, but the alcohol won’t have helped.
Nor will the daily porn habit, which can tend to deaden your responses.
Try pleasuring yourself without using porn.
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Contact the woman you like and suggest another date with her as soon as it is practical.
Men tend to feel much more sensitive about performance failures than women, so don’t worry about putting her off yet.
My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems can help you too.
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