Slogan Contest

It's been noted that unhappiness is a good driver of the creative process. I guess that explains why so many new potential slogans for the Philadelphia Union have popped into my mind lately. I thought I'd share some of them with you, and I'd love to hear yours, too, if you feel similar inspiration.

(Please understand: This post does NOT come from a "soccer sucks," anti-MLS or anti-Philadelphia Union or Philadelphia sports mindset. It just reflects my already significant frustration with the new season. And I still believe in Earnie Stewart. Thanks.)

The Philadelphia Union: Penny Wise, Pound Foolish. (Oh wait, Ben Franklin said that – why does that seem apt?)

The Philadelphia Union: Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here. (Wait, Dante said that first. Well, he’s in no position to sue.)

The Philadelphia Union: A Hard "No" Vote Against Relegation.

The Philadelphia Union: Because Somebody Said America Should Have Its Own Newcastle United.

The Philadelphia Union: We Said We’d Make The City Of Chester Look Good. Next To Us, It Does.

The Philadelphia Union: To Have Winners, There Also Must Be Losers. That’s Where We Come In.

The Philadelphia Union: We Play In The Shadow Of The Commodore Barry Bridge, Because We Couldn’t Compete With The Walt Whitman Or The Ben Franklin.

The Philadelphia Union: We Fill Out The Table.

The Philadelphia Union: You’re Actually Still Here?

The Philadelphia Union: Barnum Said There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute. Dozens Of Them Have Season Tickets.

The Philadelphia Union: We Make MLS Direct Kick A Pointless Luxury You Can Afford.

The Philadelphia Union: Oh, MLS Doesn’t Stand For Minor League Soccer?

The Philadelphia Union: In Europe, Upcoming Matches Are Called Fixtures. We Call Them Exercises In Futility.

The Philadelphia Union: You Think This Is Bad? Wait Until Andre Blake Leaves.

The Philadelphia Union: Because Philadelphia Desperately Needed Another Bad Team.

The Philadelphia Union: The Sixers Love Having Us Around.

The Philadelphia Union: Because MLS Wouldn’t Let Us Call Ourselves "Ineptitude FC."