Younger men are attracted to older women for reasons that have nothing to do with looks

Relationships between older women and younger men are drawing more attention as traditional dating expectations continue to shift.

Tammy Nelson, a board-certified sexologist, sex therapist and integrative relationship therapist in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital that she is seeing greater interest in these age-gap relationships.

"Older women and younger men are now a thing," she said. "I know a lot of older women, even my age, that are dating or … being attracted to younger men."

Polling and research in recent years suggests that traditional dating rules around age may be loosening.

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A 2023 Bumble poll of 26,849 dating-app users across more than 20 countries found that 59% of women were more open to dating someone younger, while 35% said they had become less judgmental about age-gap relationships.

A 2025 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences similarly found that men and women were both slightly more attracted to younger partners after blind dates. The study, which included adults ages 22 to 85, measured initial attraction rather than long-term relationship outcomes.

"This preference for youth among women will be shocking to many people," Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, and lead author of the study, said in a university news release. "But women’s preferences on the dates themselves revealed something else entirely."

A separate 2024 analysis of nearly 36,000 couples across 29 European countries found that women’s tendency to partner with slightly older men shifted toward same-age partners as they grew older.

Together, the findings do not establish a definitive rise in older women dating younger men, but they do suggest that the traditional older-man/younger-woman dating pattern may be less rigid than commonly assumed.

Nelson said some women may feel more comfortable expressing their sexuality as they get older.

"As women grow into their bodies, grow into their sexuality, we become less concerned with how other people see us," she said. "And then we discover that being sexy is an inside job."

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A 2026 Ashley Madison survey found that 45% of the dating site’s female members said they reached their sexual prime at age 40 or older.

Nelson said her own conversations with age-gap couples suggest that men are drawn to older women because they may feel more comfortable communicating their sexual needs.

Additionally, many women are entering a new phase of life after raising children, which means the younger men may face less pressure around marriage. "They're really participating as equal partners," Nelson said.

"It comes back to this place where you realize you deserve pleasure," she added. "And what does pleasure look like? That's a whole new fun phase of life."

That does not mean relationships between older women and younger men are without complications, particularly when couples are considering a long-term future.

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Differences in life stage, caregiving expectations and finances can create tension, according to Nelson. Couples may also have different views about marriage, children, retirement and long-term plans.

Mismatched cultural references can pose another challenge.

"It can be frustrating to be with someone who doesn't know who the Grateful Dead is, who's never been to a Rolling Stones concert or just doesn't know your level of cultural references," Nelson said. "There's something comforting about being with someone who grew up in the same world that you did."

At the same time, those differences can create opportunities for couples to learn from each other, she noted.

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"You can teach each other and share with each other a different perspective about the world," Nelson said. "And maybe share playlists with each other and discover new music."

Ultimately, according to the expert, women should not assume that desire or intimacy has an expiration date.

"We used to think that you hit menopause, and you went off the cliff and that was it," Nelson said. "And it's just not the case now."

"If we're going to be alive, we want to feel alive."