I have eight kids. Here's why the 'back-to-school' mom memes break my heart
Summer is the best season. My kids have no school commitments and our time is spent getting together with friends, doing weekend trips, camping, going to the lake, and enjoying the time we have with each other. My oldest is already in college so I know the feeling of time slipping through my fingers as my kids get older and create lives of their own. Time with my husband and eight children is my most precious gift and while back-to-school season is exciting, it’s certainly bittersweet.
The joy of watching my kids grow into the next stage of life is balanced out by the feeling that most of August is the Sunday before school starts.
Raising kids is hard, and it’s okay to feel a little relief when structure returns. But I think we should be thoughtful about the message our children receive in the way we celebrate.
JO FROST CALLS OUT MODERN PARENTING MISTAKES SHE SAYS ARE ROBBING CHILDREN OF BASIC LIFE SKILLS
Scrolling through social media this time of year brings meme after meme of parents, usually moms, who are thrilled the school year is starting because it’s time to ship their kids off to someone else five days a week. The photos of moms in robes on their doorstep holding a glass of wine are everywhere.
Kids notice when we seem overly eager to send them away. They remember whether we treated their presence as a burden or a gift. They hear how their parents are elated about sending them elsewhere for hours every day. Kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. Even if all of the back-to-school jubilation is in jest, deep down they know they are of some undue burden to their parents.
Conflicting emotions are common and parents shouldn’t beat themselves up over them. A study of 2,000 parents over the summer revealed 57% were happy about their kids returning to school but also felt guilty about it. Yet a different study showed 67% of parents who thought summer break was too long.
I get that parents need a break, especially from the endless snack requests and demands of kids over the summer. No parent should be shamed for taking care of themselves in order to be a better parent for their kids. Yet that’s not what back-to-school season has become. It’s become a time when parents can thrillingly announce to the world that they are so happy to dump their kids at school and make them someone else’s problem.
In a culture that has so devalued the family and children, this isn’t a surprise but it is disheartening. I used to think these kinds of posts were funny until I really thought about it. We only have so much time with our kids until they move out, go to school, and have lives of their own. I’m proud to watch my kids begin a new school year. I’m excited for what they’ll learn and who they’ll become. But I’m also sad to see summer end because I love having them home. I love the memories, the slow mornings, the time together, and the little moments that pass far too quickly.
Parenting is hard and no one could ever be prepared for it, no matter how many books they read or other parents they talk to. We have so much responsibility on our plates that it can easily be overwhelming. Humans will make decisions based on their priorities — that’s what it all comes down to. Faith, marriage, kids, work, and hobbies all vie for the top spot and we have to make hard decisions every day but if those priorities are in order, it will be much easier to choose the right thing.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINION
I’m not suggesting every parent homeschool or drop everything to spend 24 hours a day catering to their kids. I’m saying that our children are incredible gifts and we should not be so anxious to shove them out the door and on the school bus for eight hours a day for nine or ten months of the year. Get involved in your kid’s school. Coach their rec team. Invite their friends for a movie night or ice cream or pizza making party at your house. Go on a hike with your kids and their friends. Be present. Put your phone down. Ask questions. Say ‘yes’ more.
We only have one life. Our kids are only young once and they see everything. I make plenty of mistakes as a mom but valuing the time I have with them is one mistake I try the hardest to avoid.
So yes, celebrate back-to-school season. Just make sure your kids know they are loved, wanted, and deeply missed when they’re away.