Golfer Hailey Ostrom is Team Sophie, Hilary Duff compares herself to LeBron & pig squealing contests!
'Nightcaps' is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday-Friday on OutKick.com.
Over the weekend, I had a conversation with a bartender whose boyfriend just got deployed.
"All I do is work and gym and sit around the apartment feeling sorry for myself because he's not here. I need a hobby," she said. "What do you do for fun?"
I told her maybe I'm not the right person to ask. Because all I do it work and gym as well. Throw in a Saturday trek through the woods here and there.
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And the hobbies I do have maybe aren't very exciting for a bartender in her early 20s. I'm in a book club, and I've recently become fixated on houseplants. I fear I'm just a couple of knitting needles away from the geriatric trifecta. And in my 30s, no less!
But then what do I run across this morning? A video of Wiz Khalifa absolutely giddy over his houseplants:
I mean, I knew he was pretty fond of at least one particular type of plant (the kind you're not allowed to grow in your house), but I was not expecting Bird of Paradise and Monstera.
So maybe I'm not so uncool after all. Or all of us Millennials are just following the exact same pipeline.
Speaking of, today we're checking in on Millennial Queen Hilary Duff, who is comparing herself to an NBA star. Plus, we've found another Sophie Cunningham ally (certainly not in the WNBA, though), and there's some weird stuff going on in France.
Like, really weird.
Pour yourself a cocktail, drop your work phone into a houseplant, and let's get rolling.
Hilary Duff feels just like LeBron James
I recruited that bartender to my book club, by the way. So there's a win.
Anyway, Hilary Duff went viral during a show on her Lucky Me Tour in Philadelphia Sunday night.
"We started in Florida, went to LA, we've ended up here," she said. "I'm starting to feel like LeBron!"
She had that one in the holster with the safety off. Could not wait to deploy it.
It was cute, though, I laughed. And besides, I'll tolerate no Hilary Duff slander in this column.
I will, however, tolerate LeBron James slander. Actually, as a Pacers fan who had to suffer through his "Big 3" Miami Heat era, I encourage LeBron slander.
Get a load of his agent, Rich Paul, blabbering on about how athletes have "the hardest job in the world."
The hardest job in the world.
Now, look, I get it. Athletes have a physically demanding job, and there's a lot of pressure on them.
There's also a lot of pressure on police officers, brain surgeons, air traffic controllers, school bus drivers... need me to go on?
But this dude (whose name is literally "Rich") thinks that the hardest job in the world is… getting paid millions of dollars to play sports. Just because their family and friends ask them for money. And because $100 million is "really $50 million after taxes."
Let me find my tiny violin.
It reminds me of a time when I worked for the Titans as a social media manager, and the team was going through a particularly tough camp workout. A high-profile player — whom I won't name — said to me on the sideline, "Can we trade jobs? You go do this and I just play with my phone?"
I said, "We trading salaries, too?"
Wide-eyed, he said, "NOPE!" then ran right back onto the field.
That's what I thought.
Hailey Ostrom shows her support for Sophie Cunningham
Sadly, I don't think I'd make it in the NFL. I wouldn't make it in the WNBA, either. The Lord has given me many blessings in life, but height isn't one of them. And I'm pretty sure the last time I played basketball was sometime around the fourth grade, so I'm probably a little rusty.
Look, I am so sick of talking about the WNBA. And I'd say you guys are probably sick of reading about it — but clearly you're not. I see those analytics. WNBA soap opera stories are CLICKERS.
Particularly the ones involving Sophie Cunningham.
And while (seemingly) the entire league is ganging up on Sophie, a new ally has emerged. Golfer Hailey Ostrom has entered the chat.
I am no expert on the hierarchy of golf influencers. You'd have to talk to my colleague Joe Kinsey about that. I am, however, comfortable saying Hailey is in the top 3. I think Paulina Gretzky is in there, too. But I don't think either have dethroned Paige Spiranac.
Maybe one day.
Maybe when the WNBA assembles its task force to determine what a woman is, the commish can call in Hailey to testify. Or literally any human being with a brain — which seems to be extra hard to find in that league lately.
Who's signing up for France's annual pig-squealing championship?
Yes, friends, that is a thing. For 43 years running!
Which means that while France was wrestling with inflation, unemployment and political upheaval in the early 1980s, one visionary looked at the state of the nation and thought, "Enough of this. We need to know who does the best pig impression."
A dignified, time-honored and storied tradition was born.
Just look at those patriots making their country proud.
The 2026 installment of this contest took place over the weekend, and a fella named Noel Jamet won — claiming his 10th title. A record!
Some say he's the GOAT of pig squealing. An athlete on par with Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and Serena Williams.
But we'll never know until he takes on the true champion. And my fellow "South Park" fans know exactly who that is.
Let's open the mailbag.
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Caitlyn W. writes: I remember reading in Nightcaps that you were planning to do the HYROX race in Nashville, and I'm convinced you have to know someone to get into one of these things.
Last time I tried, I made an account ahead of time, set a reminder for when registration opened, and was on the website right when tickets went on sale. I even had my husband trying on his laptop at the same time. We both sat in the queue forever, and by the time either of us got through, sold out. I mean WTF.
Amber:
Sounds like me buying Garth Brooks tickets a few weeks ago.
But yeah, I've kind of given up on HYROX for that exact reason. There are plenty of ways to torture myself that don't involve a waitlist.
I actually signed up for a Spartan Super race in October. I've never done one before, so pray for me. I'm not worried about the running part... or the mud or even leaping over fire. It's all the obstacles that I can't practice in my regular gym that I'm worried about.
That and the superhuman grip strength I'm told you have to possess to finish one of these things.
There's a Ninja Warrior gym here in Middle Tennessee. I'm probably going to go there to train at least a few times. Which sounds ridiculous, but I'm committed to not humiliating myself on race day.
But hey, at least I don't have to wear 125 T-shirts.
Remember when I told y'all there's a Guinness World Record for literally everything? There truly is.
Anyway, if anyone has any Spartan training tips, send them my way.
Amber:
Thanks to Drew in Katy, Texas, for passing along.
I can confirm Rocky gives similar mission reports. And thanks to his tireless service, we remain safe from highly camouflaged ground terrorists and insurgent chipmunks.
This is a great Instagram account, by the way.
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Gene in the Rock writes: Good boys know what FAFO means...
Fred H. writes: Tate is a cow dog I have who takes his job seriously. I never ask him to come with me to check cows because he's always ready. He feels his job is to look after me. When I give the cows mineral if he thinks they're too close to me he pushes them back. Also Tate, 'I'm not too busy so how about a tummy rub.'
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