Olivia Wilde speaks out about the exact moment she knew relationship with Jason Sudeikis was over
Olivia Wilde revealed that a striking comment from Jason Sudeikis during a birthday-night drive home crystallized what the former couple had been struggling to admit: their relationship was over.
The "Don't Worry Darling" star offered a rare glimpse into the private struggles behind her split from Sudeikis, revealing the heartbreaking exchange that ultimately confirmed what the couple had been reluctant to admit. Wilde said the breakup ultimately informed her creative process, helping shape the relationship themes at the center of her new film, "The Invite."
"It's no surprise to me that I ended up making a movie about relationships and the complexity of determining whether a relationship is over because it is not an overnight process," she said during an appearance on "Call Her Daddy." "It's very difficult."
Wilde recalled a conversation on March 10, 2020, after she and Sudeikis had been experiencing a "real bumpy, bumpy ride" in their relationship.
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"And we were driving home from my birthday party, my friends had had. And I said, 'Did you get me a birthday present?' And he said, 'What would I get you, Olivia? I don't know you,'" Wilde revealed. "And he wasn't wrong. We didn't know each other anymore."
Wilde said the exchange forced them to confront how disconnected they had become in their relationship.
"And this is the thing that made me wanna make ['The Invite'] because, or one of the things, because you can get to a place in a relationship where you stop engaging in the knowing of each other in the curiosity about each other," she explained. "And you find yourself in a place where you're like, 'I don't even know you.' And that was a point, that was when we realized it was over, and it was f---ing tough. And it brought us to the place of like, 'OK, this is done. We're gonna end this.' And then, literally two days later was lockdown COVID."
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Wilde and Sudeikis met at a "Saturday Night Live" after-party in 2011 and were engaged by 2013. They never married but spent nearly a decade together and had two children, Otis and Daisy. Although the romance ended, Wilde emphasized that their shared commitment to parenting never disappeared.
"Once you are sharing custody with someone, it shifts the way you think about parenting," Wilde said, calling Sudeikis a "very capable co-parent." The actress said sharing parenting responsibilities allows both parents to be fully present with their children when it's their time together.
"I feel like I'm like a superhero, not because of my skills, but because of the switching in between identities. Because my version of like going into the phone booth and putting on the suit is like going to work and being like a hundred percent hardcore available to work 24/7. But everyone in my life knows that then when I'm with my kids, it's the opposite."
"And sometimes that's challenging. You have to find the balance. But I actually find this kind of divvying up of responsibility in a way can allow for really amazing parenting. Because we are always our best with our kids. They get the best of us."
For Wilde, the benefits of that approach extend beyond scheduling and logistics.
"I really wanna tell people, you can be an incredible parent even if you are not with them a hundred percent of the time, and you're sharing them with their other parent. It doesn't mean you won't be as good of a parent. You might even be a better parent."
Despite finding stability as co-parents, Wilde said one post-split incident remains among the most difficult experiences she has endured: being served custody papers while presenting onstage at CinemaCon in 2022.
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Wilde noted that CinemaCon is one of Hollywood's most important industry gatherings, bringing together studio executives, theater owners and members of the press. The high-stakes presentation left her feeling particularly vulnerable when the incident unfolded in front of the crowd.
"One of the most f---ed up things that I went through among so many was that I was served papers on stage. And I'll just say that now, with enough space behind it, the part that I can laugh at is that obviously it was incredibly traumatizing. There's so many elements to that. But I get through it because, weirdly, as women, we're taught to muscle through the most insane experiences, I was like, 'Just finish your speech.' Got through it, went backstage, completely like dissolved into a puddle."
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She later learned footage of the incident made it online despite there being no phones allowed at the event. Reflecting on the controversy years later, Wilde said the "Ted Lasso" star told her he was unaware she would be served publicly.
"Jason has told me that he did not know. And I need to believe that in order to continue. And you know, I think that lawyers can be super f---ed up and do f---ed up things, and I'm aware of that."
Although she called the incident "so f---ed up in so many ways," Wilde said she believes it also strengthened her resilience.
"...it was like, I cannot f---ing believe this is happening to me here," she recalled. "And yet, you know, the crazy thing is like once you make it through things like that, you kind of feel like you can make it through anything."