'World's sexiest fan' drops her World Cup anthem and here's why you never assist a bike thief

It's Tuesday, and doesn't it feels like Tuesday, which means it's time for an almost-mid-week edition of Nightcaps.

I'm going to be real with you: I feel like this week is going to drag along in a big way.

That's because this weekend is the unofficial start of summer with the Indianapolis 500 on Sunday and Memorial Day on Monday.

By the way, can we just all agree that Memorial Day — the unofficial start of summer — should just be made the official start of summer?

I understand all the science-y reasons why that's not the case, but I also understand that by the time we hit June 20-something and the summer solstice, I will already be a month into what I consider summer.

So let's just go ahead and agree that summer runs from Memorial Day and ends on Labor Day. I don't care what the Earth's planetary movements say. I say this is how it is.

Anyway, I'm in the midst of planning a nice Memorial Day feast, which means making sure I have all the various meats and fuel sources — charcoal, wood, a frosty beverage (I need fuel too) — to churn out some smoky deliciousness.

Of course, it's going to be in the 90s here in Central Florida — or as I like to call it "God's Country" — and any doctor will tell you the best thing to do in heat like that is spend eight to 10 hours standing near a fire, occasionally spraying a big hunk of pork with apple cider vinegar.

But before we get to the weekend, we've got to navigate the rest of this week, and that starts now...

Have you mentioned someone or something, and then all of a sudden you start seeing them or it everywhere?

So, recently I wrote about a replica of KITT from "Knight Rider" that got a traffic ticket, even though it has been sitting in a museum for years. Of course, I mentioned that KITT was voiced by the great William Daniels, and I think it was the first time in my almost four years at OutKick that I mentioned him.

Less than a week later, he's in the news for a reason I just did not see coming.

Of course, at 99 years old, when I see anything about the veteran character known for playing Mr. Feeney on "Boy Meets World," my brainmy brain goes straight to "the ol' dirt nap."

I was relieved to see that wasn't the case, but at a loss for words that he and his wife of 75 years have, or at least had, an understanding.

Back in 2023, Daniels' wife, "Little House on the Prairie" (ZZZzzzzzzzz) actress Bonnie Bartlett, mentioned in her memoir and then told Fox News Digital that they had an open marriage at first.

The couple reiterated this in a recent interview with Daily Mail, and that's why it's going viral. To each their own, and of course, people's lives have ups and downs. If you read up on them, they've certainly had their share of tragedy.

But, wow, if you gave me a thousand guesses as to why William Daniels would be trending, I wouldn't have guessed this.

Seriously. I'd have guessed that he set a land speed record or bought a minor league hockey team before I got to open marriage.

Mr. Feeney imparting that advice to Corey and Topanga would've made one hell of a late-season episode of "Boy Meets World"Boy Meets World.

Combing through social media, I came across a video of an incident that is the epitome of "no good deed goes unpunished.

ARE PEOPLE WHO PARK ON STREETS FACING THE WRONG WAY THE WORST PEOPLE ON EARTH?

It shows a guy beating up a would-be bicycle thief, while a man on a scooter comes in to break things up.

Seems like a good guy move on Scooter Man's part, even if the Bike Thief may have had it coming.

However, Scooter Man quickly learned that the guy feeding Bike Thief knuckle sandwiches may have been onto something when he tried to go all "Grand Theft Auto" on his scooter.

Not even a thank you. Just goes and steals his scooter.

Although, in his defense, maybe the head trauma had him thinking that was actually his scooter.

The 2026 FIFA World Cup is just weeks away, and the world's sexiest fan, Ivana Knoll, is putting in the preparation for an event that is pretty much her Super Bowl.

...or World Cup, I guess.

Knoll was bestowed the title of "world's sexiest fan" a couple of World Cups ago, and fresh off pulling camera focus in the Formula 1 paddock, she's dropping some new music to get everyone ready for football, or, as we call it, soccer.

I know what you're thinking: "Matt, you very handsome and funny SOB, I thought Shakira and her truth-tellin' hips released the World Cup anthem last week, and it's called 'Dai Dai.'"

Well, you're correct, but I like that little detail didn't stop Ivana Knoll from dropping her own anthem.

It's like how in 2017, my alma mater, the University of Central Florida (Go Knights! Charge On!), was like, "Yeah, no one cares about your playoff, we're the national champions. Colley matrix. Look it up."

People forget that you can just do things. You can just create holidays. I did that for my birthday. It's called Mattsgiving, and it's great.

Ivana Knoll clearly knows this too, and that's why she's the world's sexiest fan and the rest of us are doomed to be runners-up at best.

We're all used to seeing schools release graphics whenever they bring in a recruit or transfer, but none will make you do a double-take like the news that Pinnis is now a Beaver.

You read that correctly: Former Providence College forward Peteris Pinnis has transferred to Oregon State.

ARE TEAMS THAT INSIST ON SINGING 'SWEET CAROLINE' DURING GAMES THE WORST THING IN SPORTS?

Oregon State's student section is going to be electrifying if only for the addition of this 7-foot-1 sophomore from Latvia.

I mean, just think of the puns, euphemisms and innuendos that are in play or signs and T-shirts. It's an embarrassment of riches.

Less excited about this will be any broadcaster who has to call an Oregon State game next season.

Phrasing is going to be key unless you want yourself going viral for all the wrong reasons.

Maybe steer clear of saying things like, "Pinnis goes hard in the paint," "Pinnis subs in for the Beavers," "The Beavers really needed Pinnis in the fold."

Hell, it might be best to just call him "Peteris."

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

...Actually, come to think of it, that's not much better.

...

That's it for this Tuesday edition of Nightcaps!

Have a great rest of the week!