Ranking the ten best Billy Joel songs of all time in honor of The Piano Man's 77th birthday

Today is my son's second birthday, which is pretty cool. But, more importantly, it is also The Piano Man himself, Billy Joel's 77th birthday (that was a joke, honey).

In all seriousness, I want to wish a happy birthday to Mr. William Martin Joel, whose entire catalog has provided me the soundtrack to many a nighttime drive and mediocre spaghetti meal cooked in the comfort of my own kitchen.

It's such an impressive catalog, in fact, that I decided to rank the 10 best songs the man has ever written.

Obviously, this is a subjective ranking, and I trust that most of you angry New Yorkers will be burning the comments section down with pleas for "Piano Man," which, spoiler alert, will not be making the list.

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Everybody pissed off already? Good. Let's rank!

10. "Pressure" — The Nylon Curtain

Many fans assume that Billy Joel hit a creative and commercial lull in the early to mid 1980s after Glass Houses, but there's still plenty of fun to be had on The Nylon Curtain, and "Pressure" is one track that delivers.

Joel is as cynical and sneering as ever, spitting lines like "But you will come to a place/Where the only thing you feel/Are loaded guns in your face/And you'll have to deal with/Pressure."

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The song is a reflection of the pressure on Joel to follow up on his success in the late 70s, and the prodding synthesizer riff adds to the claustrophobic nature of the tune.

A hidden gem if there ever was one.

9. "All For Leyna" — Glass Houses

Speaking of hidden gems, "All For Leyna" is another B-side off of one of Billy Joel's most critically and commercially successful albums, Glass Houses.

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It deals with the almost paranoid obsession Joel feels for a girl (presumably named "Leyna") and once again, the instrumentation matches the vibe of the lyrics.

"All For Leyna" features an ear-worm of an opening synth riff that sets the tone for the obsessive and oppressive tune, and Joel captures the essence of young heartbreak to perfection.

It might be one of the catchiest songs about forlornness you'll ever hear.

8. "The Stranger" — The Stranger

Joel really shows off his piano (and whistling) chops on this title track, as the first and last minute or so of this tune is dedicated to a smokey stroll down the ivory keys before busting into a full on rock song.

One thing Joel was very underrated at in his heyday was writing a good, guitar-driven rocker, and "The Stranger" is a great mid-tempo track with a great guitar riff attached to it.

The Stranger as an album was a massive commercial windfall for Joel, but the title track is often overlooked when it comes to the pantheon of his songs, and that is a crying shame.

7. "Allentown" — The Nylon Curtain

I bet you didn't think you'd see not one, but two songs off of Nylon Curtain, did you?

"Allentown" is Billy Joel's ode to the Pennsylvania coal mining and steel factory scene, which was on the way out by the album's release in 1982.

For as much as Joel gets chided for being "just a lounge singer who made it big," he deals with some pretty heavy subject matter, and an entire generation's dreams going up in smoke is pretty dark, though he does a great job of making it more palatable and masking it behind a real toe-tapper.

The instrumentation in this one is, as usual, very on point, and while some might think the addition of the factory horn and banging steel press was a little too "on-the-nose," I think it complements the track perfectly.

6. "Big Shot" — 52nd Street

Another Billy Joel hard rocker, "Big Shot" is about as guitar-centric as the Piano Man ever got, and he hits all the right notes in it.

52nd Street may be an ode to the jazz legends of Manhattan that came before him, but this one eschews that tribute for a good old-fashioned guitar banger.

Joel delivers some all-time classic lyrics such as "you had the Dom Perignon in your hand and the spoon up your nose," and "gonna cry in your car, baby don't come bitchin' to me," in this tale of a woman biting off more than she could chew.

This is late '70s rock at its finest.

5. "Sleeping With The Television On" — Glass Houses

Much like "Big Shot," "Sleeping With The Television On" relies on a slashing guitar riff, but does so in a more quiet, understated fashion than its direct predecessor on this list.

The lyrics are pretty straightforward, dealing with a picky woman who turns down every guy who makes a move on her and goes home to fall asleep "with the television."

Joel gives every shy guy their anthem, with the line "I really wish I was less of a thinking man/and more a fool who's not afraid of rejection" pretty much summing up my "dating" life in college.

Regardless, it's a great B-side off of an album chock-full of hits, and is worth a listen the next time you give Glass Houses a run.

4. "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" — The Stranger

The vibe of this song is hard to describe, but if I had to sum it up in just a short, succinct sentence it would be this: Every time I'm eating chicken parm alone in my living room (which isn't often enough for my liking), "Movin' Out" is playing from my phone.

Nothing captures the vibe of late '70s New York quite like this tune (though there is one a little later on the list that beats this puppy in that category).

The bassline to this tune has been stuck in my head probably since 2011 and it's not leaving anytime soon, and the motorcycle sounds during the outro are just the touch of class this baby needed to bring it all home.

It's the little details that set Billy apart from his peers.

3. "You May Be Right" — Glass Houses

If ever there were a great, radio-ready Billy Joel song, this is it.

It's one of Joel's most recognizable songs, and for good reason.

The guitar riff and chorus, respectively, are some of the catchiest in the man's extensive catalog, which is saying a lot.

The harmonic honking in the outro deserves special mention, and the lyrics are some of Joel's finest ("I walked through Bedford-Stuy alone/Even rode my motorcycle in the rain").

It's hard to say too much about this one, it's just a classic Billy Joel pop song. Nothing more, nothing less.

2. "Sometimes A Fantasy" — Glass Houses

While "You May Be Right" is the more recognizable song, "Sometimes A Fantasy" is the better song in every conceivable manner.

The guitar riff is such a delicious slice of early '80s pop-rock mastery, the lyrics are a hilarious double-entendre minefield, and the chorus is more infectious than influenza.

The call-and-response in said chorus is worth the price of admission alone, as you'll be singing "It's just a fantasy (whoa oh)/It's not the real thing (whoa oh)" until the day you die.

Bonus points if you look up the 1987 Moscow performance of this song, where Joel flips out on his stage crew and ad libs his angry epithets in between some of the lyrics.

He's a true professional, even when he's irate!

1. "New York State of Mind" — Turnstiles

If I had to pick one song to capture the entire essence of Billy Joel, it would be "New York State of Mind."

It's an autobiographical and introspective look from Joel himself about how he moved to California, grew "out of touch with the rhythm and blues," then moved back to the Empire State to reconnect with his roots.

The lyrics evoke a longing for a city I've only visited once (and hated), showing Joel's mastery of storytelling and the piano work in this one is second to none.

Joel is obviously known as "The Piano Man," and the intro to "New York State of Mind" should be at the top of his resume.

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It absolutely sets a mood of longing for a hometown and a routine, and it makes this one the song for a late-night slow drive through a big city.

Simply put, "New York State of Mind" is a perfect song, and I don't say that lightly.

It's my favorite Billy Joel song and might be one of my favorite songs of all time. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop on my Billy Joel Spotify playlist and celebrate two of my favorite dudes' birthdays.

Honorable Mention: "Just The Way You Are," "Only The Good Die Young," "My Life," "Uptown Girl," "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me"