First job? Lean into emotional intelligence to thrive

Congrats! You got your first job! While you may have had temporary jobs while going to school, you might be feeling a variety of emotions, including excitement as well as some anxiety at the prospect of a first full-time job. While being hired means your employer believes that you already have the basic technical skills and academic knowledge to succeed, emotional intelligence will make the difference between thriving and surviving.

Emotional intelligence is commonly described as your ability to recognize and understand your own emotions while also having an understanding of other people’s emotions. This is critical in your first job as it determines how well others will like and trust you. The importance of this cannot be overstated as this will impact how much your colleagues, supervisors, and managers will be motivated to help you as you learn new skills, explain how things work in the organization and the underlying politics to avoid.  

Starting any job will involve dealing with a degree of uncertainty, and a first one even more so. It is easy to feel overwhelmed, continually second guess yourself and wonder how well you are doing. 

Self-awareness

Self-awareness allows you to have better control of your emotions without letting them control you. It allows you to take time to think, look at your situation, and respond more rationally, instead of reacting. “This is particularly important for the younger generation entering the workforce today, because they often face pressures from social media comparisons, evolving workplace expectations, and the challenge of establishing a professional identity in an increasingly complex and competitive environment,” says Charmaine Rose, a PhD Business and Marketing Professor, mentor, and advisor at Keiser University.

So when companies want to help them build self-awareness, the old-school workshop format just does not cut it anymore. What actually works is hands-on training, things like interactive tools, real-life scenario simulations, and feedback they can use right away.

Responsibility 

In any first job mistakes are expected and the way you deal with your mistakes will determine how well you will do in the future. Instead of deflecting, getting defensive, it is in your best interests to take responsibility, and ask for advice or help if you need it and learn. Your colleagues and supervisors will understand that you are new, learning and do expect that you will do everything perfectly. Your attitude and how you handle mistakes will determine how much grace they give you.

Empathy

Empathy is a powerful tool to have in any job, especially useful in a first one. It allows you to be able to view things from another’s perspective. In any workplace, your colleagues, supervisors and managers will be dealing with their own pressures not only in the workplace, but in their personal lives.

Your ability to listen, understand, and reserve judgement will go a long way towards making others you work with feel safe and welcoming. When others find you safe, approachable, and easy to work with, your work will be more pleasant, enjoyable and less anxiety producing. Making others feel understood is a great motivator for them to help, mentor, and advocate for you. In my book Emotional Intelligence Game Changers, I delve more deeply into the importance of empathy.

“The younger generation, particularly Gen Z, tends to place an especially high value on empathy in the workplace, often viewing it as a non-negotiable trait in colleagues and leaders and responding with greater engagement, loyalty, and collaboration when they feel genuinely seen and understood,” says Rose.

Openness to feedback

How you handle feedback will be a major factor in how well you do. If you realize that everyone has different levels of communication skills and do not take any feedback personally, you will be ahead of the game. Giving others the benefit of the doubt and believing that the feedback is meant to help you improve is the mindset that will help immensely. Even if you don’t agree, getting defensive and arguing will not help.

 Keep in mind that you may need a reference from a supervisor, or manager when you move on to another job.  

Making a positive first impression will go a long way towards smoothing your path at work. Your ability to be respectful, clearly communicate, listen attentively, and show empathy will help others relax and be more open towards you. Don’t forget that your coworkers will also feel anxious and uncertain about working with someone new. Making it easy for them to feel comfortable around you right away will quickly ease any tension and pave the way for a more rewarding work experience for both you and the people you will be working with.