Weird Ted Turner, RIP
I’m struck by word of the death of Ted Turner. I had forgotten about the man. I figured he must have been in his 90s. He was 87. Apparently, his silence these last many years was due to a particularly degenerative form of dementia. That was unfortunate for a man known for his mouth — his big mouth. It was also sad for a man who fancied himself a big intellect.
Ted Turner was a weird guy, in his mannerisms, his speech (he was dubbed “The Mouth of the South”), his silly if not outrageous opinions, his clownishness and general jackassery, and his litany of contradictions. The latter included his support of a one-child policy for everyone but himself (he had five kids), his environmental buffoonery, and above all, his being a filthy rich capitalist who seemed to hate capitalism and called himself a “socialist at heart.” He was a leftist who made wads of cash from his media empire, creating cable stations as incredibly influential as CNN (of course), as well as the likes of TNT, TBS, and his single best creation, TCM. All of them bear the Turner name: Turner Network Television, Turner Broadcasting System, and Turner Classic Movies. (READ: Paul Kengor, “TCM Remembers—And So Do I.”)
He was an innovator, an entrepreneur, a free-market pioneer. But he trashed pretty much everything not on his left.
He was an innovator, an entrepreneur, a free-market pioneer. But he trashed pretty much everything not on his left. Even weirder, he was a southerner. You expected him to be a conservative, or at least not wholly antagonistic to conservative values. But not Ted. He never made sense.
Personally, the most repulsive image that I retain of Ted Turner was him and his wife, Hanoi Jane Fonda, and the worst president in the history of America (with the possible exception of Joe Biden), Jimmy Carter, doing the Tomahawk chop against my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates during the 1992 National League Championship Series in Atlanta. Turner’s Atlanta Braves would outlast the Pirates in that series and years to come because the capitalist reptile could prop up the team forever with his billions, whereas my small-market Pirates were doomed to failure because of a lack of financial resources.
That loss sent the Pirates into two decades of futility. It was so unjust, especially because that troika rebuked the very free-market system that made them and their Braves rich. Well, certainly Ted and his wife despised capitalism. Jimmy Carter was just dumb, and he wrecked the American economy for four years until the Gipper turned the nation around. Watching those three characters Tomahawk chop my struggling team made me want to vomit.
But perhaps the single most repulsive part of the Turner persona was his aggressive, arrogant, idiotic atheism. It was so pernicious that it even led to his split with his wife, Hanoi Jane.
I actually have intriguing inside information about this from a very close source to both Ted and Hanoi. I can’t dare disclose my source, who I hope isn’t reading this now, but I’ll share some information that can be found online regardless. It reflects just how odious an atheist Ted was.
I had been informed in the late 1990s that Hanoi Jane was seriously considering the Christian faith. How serious? She was reading the Bible and C. S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity, a masterpiece of apologetics. I’ve long said that if you want to draw someone to the Christian faith, start them with the New Testament and Lewis’s Mere Christianity. Apparently, Jane was on that track, with both books literally at her bedside.
When I was informed that Hanoi was reading these profound works, I was stunned, incredulous. I didn’t believe it. If I were to hazard a guess as to what two works Hanoi Jane was reading, I would’ve bet on the Quotations of Chairman Mao and something from Marx. But amazingly, it was true. In fact, the whole world got word when it was soon revealed that, wow, hallelujah, Jane Fonda is a Christian, a lengthy process that took place during her 10-year marriage to Ted.
It was a moment for great rejoicing, for Hanoi Jane and for everyone. Well, almost everyone. Not for Weird Ted.
Jane had to hide her interest in Christianity from her nasty atheist husband. The fact that she did really bothered Ted. But Jane conceded that she had to do so because big-mouth Ted was so argumentative and aggressive that he would have hounded her relentlessly about her investigation into this “superstition.”
Jane was right to be cautious around Captain Outrageous. He had once denounced Christianity as being for “losers.”
And when the pair eventually got divorced very shortly after her announced conversion, it was reported that Jane’s blessed conversion was a culprit. You can Google that and read different things, but Ted at one point conceded that although it wasn’t necessarily Jane’s conversion that led to the split, the fact that she concealed her process of conversion was a betrayal of his trust that helped prompt the divorce. In his 2008 memoir, Turner would say that the divorce “wasn’t because she had become Christian,” but he was “upset” that she didn’t talk to him about it. It was a factor.
Meanwhile, Jane sought to grow in her faith, whereas Ted continued on his path. Ted would publicly say, “Jane wants me to become a saint…. But I’m not.”
That was for damned sure. We all should aspire to be saints — that’s the pilgrim’s progress. Despite Jane’s many flaws, she was seeking the right direction — a direction that Ted had no interest in.
Ultimately, Ted passed without Jane — without a loving wife at his side as caretaker until death did them part. He passed with the brutal loneliness of dementia. But he was not totally alone. God gives us all a guardian angel, whether we want or believe in one or not. More than that, God offers Himself if we choose to accept Him. Whether Ted ever did in his final moments of solitude is something that only he and God know.
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