Survivor 50's Dee Valladares Says This One Move 'Really Messed Things Up' for Her (Exclusive)
Dee Valladares' time on Survivor 50 came to an end just as the jury phase began. Heading into Tribal Council, the former winner knew she was in trouble—and with few options left, she played her Shot in the Dark in a last-ditch attempt to stay in the game.
After previously turning on ally Jonathan Young on the old Kalo tribe, both he and Benjamin "Coach" Wade were already targeting her. But that wasn’t the biggest issue: Dee also told Emily Flippen about Rizo Velovic’s idol, and once that information got back to him, it broke trust. Since Rizo is closely aligned with Cirie Fields, he convinced her and others that it was Dee's time to go, and at that point, there wasn’t much she could do to recover.
In her exit interview with Men’s Journal, Dee gets into the move she says “really messed things up,” what was going through her head as the vote came together, and what viewers didn’t see from her final days in the game.
Scroll down to read the full interview with Dee.
Men's Journal: Hi Dee! This is a bummer, but we both know you went into this game with a huge target on your back.
Dee Valladares: I was gonna be out anyway, I was. I had an expiration date, and I'm okay with that.
Men's Journal: What was the biggest surprise to you watching the show back?
Dee Valladares: I knew everything. Nothing really surprised me, to be honest. Like, if anything, watching it back solidified my intuition, you know, because leaving the game, I left Fiji, landed July 2. Two months prior, I was filming The Challenge, so I was immediately bombarded with Challenge promo. And so basically, I forgot I played Survivor. Like, honestly, I really did. I had to kind of put it aside in order to pay attention to these 30 new people from The Challenge and all the drama that's involved there, and like all the promo and press. So to this day, I have not reached out to anyone to see why do vote for me, or what did you do? Because it happened already. You know what I mean? Like, it happened already, and it's fine. I knew it was gonna happen. I had other things to focus on. I was hiking Kilimanjaro. I was doing a marathon. I didn't even think about Survivor until the end of December.
Men's Journal: What do you contribute more to your downfall? Is it the Charlie vote or telling Emily about Rizo’s idol?
Dee Valladares: It was a mix of everything. I think so the Charlie vote. It was me. Obviously, I blindsided Jonathan. But had I still done Rizo, I was gonna still leave. You know what I mean? Like we were going at each other since day one. You see in an episode when he's coming for me, this was Chrissy was coming for me hard. This was inevitable and bound to happen. And the way that I saw it was for the Charlie vote, there was no way that I was gonna play Charlie or Jonathan's game. There was no way. Because this is what works for you, but that's not what works for me. And like, I don't want to look back at my 50 experience and say, "Why did I just do what they said, and then I'm here gone, either before jury or on the jury." But everyone does what they think is best for their game. But I think ultimately what really, really messed things up was telling Emily. I don't know why I told Emily about freaking idol. It's more, you know, cutting that trust with someone on Survivor, all you have is your word. And on my first season, 45, I never did that. I would never do that, ever. But going into 50, I'm like, "I'm gonna try new things, and I'm okay with making mistakes, because at the end of the day, if I'm not gonna win the game, I'm gonna try new things, right?" Obviously, then trying new things bite me in the ass, absolutely.
Men's Journal: Did you know you lost Rizo once he confronted you?
Dee Valladares: I didn't necessarily know I lost Cirie, but it's funny, I don't know why they didn't show Cirie and I also did my round, but her and I would only talk at night. Maybe they didn't show it because it was just night footage. We didn't want to be seen together. But the thing is, I think I didn't necessarily mess up in telling people about Rizo's idol. I just messed up in who I told. So it was like, right thing, wrong people. Right Action, wrong people. I even go up to him, like "I messed up. I told people about Rizo's idol." They just didn't show it, I guess, because it didn't matter at the end of the day, since I was gone now, but I knew I lost Rizz, for sure, that was what hurt me. And you don't see this, but we had a conversation afterwards, and I approached him, and I said, "Look, I know you know I'm lying to you. You know I know that you know I'm lying to you. So I just want to say that I'm really sorry." I was crying, Sharon, I was crying because I see Rizo as like—I know he's 25—but I see him like a 21 year old, you know what I mean? And he was sick at that time too. A doctor had to go see him because he wasn't eating. He was losing so much weight, and he was kind of weakening. And I see this kid really, that I view as a little brother, and I'm like, "I just ruined somebody's game." At what cost? If I'm gonna go home anyway, why am I blowing up his game? I was crying. I can't believe they didn't show our conversation. I was telling Rizo, "I'm so sorry." Like, that is my biggest regret on 50 was telling people about your idol, because I pride myself in not doing that on Survivor, you know what I mean? And in and out of the game, but especially on Survivor. And that really hurt.
Men's Journal: Was Jonathan’s move to rile you up strategic or personal?
Dee Valladares: I think it was personal. Look, there was, you can say it was strategic, but it was never gonna turn anyone, like I was already the name. I already knew I was going out, because that was right before tribal. And I think it was personal. I think it was built up. I think with me and Jonathan, I can't speak on his behalf, but from my behalf, I really wanted to work with Jonathan from the get go, I really did, it just we didn't align for whatever reason. And I think from the beginning, you know, we would have talks of like, "Let's align, let's work together. We need each other." But you see him on episode one, "Let's get Dee out." From the beginning, he wanted me out. I don't know why, because I truly wasn't until I felt the vibe in OG Kalo that he was coming for me, then I was like, "All right, yeah, this obviously not my person." But I think it was just built up tension from multiple different things. There was a fashion show that wasn't aired that I did, that I had everybody wear the opposite sex clothing. And it was so funny. But then all the men thought I had an advantage. They thought I did that because I had an advantage that I needed to unlock. So everybody had to wear each other's clothes. Oh my God, like there was a girl can't just have fun out here. A girl can't just look around and say, "Everybody's miserable, everybody's paranoid, Kamilla's crying about Kyle leaving. Let's have some fun. It's 50. Let's get up." And so from the get go, like he just had it in his mind, like coming for me. And because I knew that once we split—we had the Cila split—oh, now it's convenient for you to want to work with me, because you want somebody out that's good for your game to get out. And I was not gonna do it, especially in the way in which I was approached. It was very, Jonathan at first wanted Cirie out. I'm like, "Cirie is not going." Then he wanted Rizo, and then Charlie wanted Rizo, and Kamilla wanted Jonathan. And it was like, "No, I'm not gonna play your game," especially if you're coming up to me and like, "Hey, we're gonna vote Rizo, right?" I know what it's like to work with a strong alliance, and the way that we work so well is because we would Cirie before would get on. And sometimes you gotta sacrifice. And maybe now this person is not good for my game to leave, but I trust you, go for it. That was not the case for OG Kalo. That was not the case for me and Jonathan at all. Even with Charlie, it was very like, "Hey, this is what we're gonna do for our game."
Men's Journal: Do you think if there was more time people would have actually been open to voting out Coach?
Dee Valladares: I think this, it wasn't necessarily a time thing. If I had more time to build deeper relationships, but it it's madness out there. It's chaos. You're playing a whole new game from the beginning on emerge, right? And this is the first time we all go to tribal. So it's still new. There's still alliances that, you know, there's the people in the middle that haven't—they get solidified, but they can kind of pick where to go. And I think this was just the perfect moment to like, "All right, let's get rid of Dee. Everybody's gonna want to get rid of her eventually." And like, if she goes further, I get it. I get it. Like it's nothing in the game is personal, even if whatever you say about me is fair game in the game, right? But I think it was just an easy, "Let's just do it right now." Easy vote, you know what I mean. But whatever, I'm on the jury. Thank God.
Men's Journal: Did the "pre-gaming Zoom Alliance" impact your game at all?
Dee Valladares: I don't think it impacted my game, but I do think it impacted other people's games. And I think I want to say more, but I don't want to spoil anything. It did impact people's games, though, for sure.
Men's Journal: Did you feel like you had to win competitions going into 50?
Dee Valladares: I knew I had to win. Even this last immunity, I was so close, but impossible going against Ozzy. Are you kidding me? Way too good. No, I knew I had to win immunity for sure. I knew I had an expiration date. I knew this wasn't my season. Am I crazy enough to think that I could win again? Yes, because I'm freaking crazy and delusional, but I also felt it, and that's why, also, I packed so many jury outfits. I did not do that on season 45 but for this season, I'm like, "All right, I'll pack." Obviously, I didn't know how far I'd make it. Did I hope I'd make the jury? Absolutely, but you never know what Jeff will throw at you, or what the circumstances or who you are aligned with. But either way, I swear, even if I would have been first boot, I would have been so grateful to have been able to do this, because I didn't find out until two months before going on 50. I got out of The Challenge on a Friday, and by Monday, that's when I was on Zoom with Jeff. And I had not checked social media. I didn't know people on 50 had been cut. Even Jeff was like, "Yeah, we've had to cut this." And I'm like, "What are you talking about, Jeff?" He's like, "Oh shoot, that's why you've been shooting for the past two months." I was still trying to adjust to the real world, because Challenge was two months. But yeah, I'm super grateful.
Men's Journal: Was there anything about your game that you wish made the edit?
Dee Valladares: There's so much. I just wish more OG Kalo was shown, so that there would be a lot more context as to why, despite what Jonathan happened, it didn't just happen because of one thing. It was built of tension. Obviously, I can't speak on his behalf, but my belief is that, at least from my end, it was built of tension. And it seems like it was for him too. It was just like this war had been brewing since day one, but it was just never shown. And I wish they would have shown context from OG Kalo so people can put two and two together, of like, "Oh, why did he say this in confessional? Why is this so random? And why is Coach and Jonathan saying—" like, there are reasons to it. And all of that happens at a day to day basis, while you're playing the game together, and people are paranoid and you're talking shit. There's like a whole other game that isn't shown that it is what it is.
Men's Journal: Where do you stand with Jonathan and Coach today?
Dee Valladares: I think I'm good with them. I mean, I have no ill will towards them. We were just—not Coach—but we were in Vegas for a UFC fight with Jeff, Stephanie. Vibes are great, but I haven't talked game with them. But I also haven't talked game with anyone from my season, because whatever, like, you vote me out, you vote me out. You got me. There's no I don't want to think about it, especially not after landing and I'm bombarded for another show that I have to worry about, and I have things planned. I don't care, but on my end, I'm good.
Men's Journal: In terms of Emily, was there anything we missed or do you think she just went with the numbers?
Dee Valladares: I think she just went with the numbers. I never confronted her about the idol because I didn't want it to blow up at that point. At that point I knew I was leaving. And honestly, yeah, Emily, you spilled the beans. But what good is this gonna do if I go back to you and now I argue with you? Because I love you as a person, and I don't want to blow up your game if I'm already leaving. I'm leaving this vote, next vote, I'm leaving. So I don't want to—yeah, I know you screwed me over, but you haven't had that experience of winning the game. So a part of me was just like, "This is not my season, and this is for other people," and I'm not going to blow up an ally even more, because even if she did snitch, I still view her as an ally. I love that girl, and she's great TV.
Men's Journal: Are you done with Survivor?
Dee Valladares: No, dude, if they call me tomorrow, I would be like, "Fine, I'll go." And they know. I love this game. I love Survivor so much, and I just love playing games. And when else are you going to be able to like be a little villain and lie and cheat and steal and talk crap? No, I would always say yes. I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. Who knows? God knows, but I would love to see a season of like Blood versus Water, or like a celeb season, or a first boot. I definitely want to see a theme season with returnees, but not necessarily with winners. And I know I'm a winner, but I want to see you with people that have—I wouldn't want to say higher stakes, because still million dollars, and it's a high stake—but I was playing with house money, and I was a lot more greedy, and I would do whatever I want to see with people that really have shit to lose. Or something to prove.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.