Let’s Check on Channing Tatum in These Trying Times

As the internet scriptures state, if anyone you know posts emo poetry to Instagram, it may be time for a wellness check. So let’s check on Channing Tatum, aka Zoe Kravitz’s ex.

On Monday, People confirmed the news many had been theorizing—that Kravitz and Harry Styles are engaged after eight months of dating. And you thought you were upset that they found love before your Wattpad fantasies could come to fruition? Try being Tatum. Even though Tatum and Kravitz were never married, and Tatum has a new girlfriend, Australian model Inka Williams, that didn’t stop him from acting like a typical divorced guy and reposting an emo poem to Instagram.

“My brain and heart divorced / a decade ago,“ the poem by John Roedel began, “about who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become / Eventually, they couldn’t be in the same room together.” Tatum captioned the post, “Read…” I get it! You’re emo, and I would be too!

Kravitz and Tatum dated for three years before breaking things off in October of 2024. After being engaged for a year, they “realized they’re at different stages in life.” Apparently, Tatum’s new stage of life is the poetry crash-out stage. It comes for all of us, Channing.

“Now my head and heart share custody of me, / They blame each other for the state of my life,” the poem continued, “there’s been a lot of yelling—and crying / so, / lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with my gut / who serves as my unofficial therapist.” Tatum went official with Williams last year, but according to the poem (yelling and crying?!), this man is going through it. 

The same day, Tatum also reposted a video of a guy challenging strangers to duels with pool noodles on the street, with the caption, “I might actually just do this in New York randomly. It seems so much fun.” Now, this could be an innocent joke, but then again, New York City is where Kravitz and Styles are often photographed together, where Kravitz lives, and where Styles will be resident for a 30-day Madison Square Garden stint during his upcoming tour.

It begs the question: Does Channing want to challenge Harry to a pool noodle duel? In that case, maybe our Wattpad fantasies will come true after all.

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