WHY I WANT A HORRORBALL SEMI FINAL
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to get in the way of me enjoying a Champions League semi final against one of the great teams of Europe, one of the great managers of the last 20 years, against some of the greatest players of Europe this evening. Martin Odegaard called it before the game.
‘How can you not enjoy this?’
Arsenal are the only unbeaten team left in the tournament, we’ve averaged 2.2 goals per game, we’ve conceded 0.42 goals per game, our keeper averages just 2.34 saves per game. Arsenal have scored 119 goals this season in all comps, more than City, 6 short of PSG, only 3 teams ahead of us. Arsenal are where they are right now because without a shadow of a doubt… we deserve to be here.
The two sides of the competition represent two different types of football. On the other side of the comp, it’s all about big-name attacking players who care mostly about scoring as many goals as possible. Big names, doing big things, for the full 90. On our side, it’s two coaches that believe great attack starts with the underpinnings of a great defence.
When I was growing up, I remember the first time I was mocked by Spurs fans… I supported a team that was boring. 1-0 to the Arsenal was a jab, not a compliment. But, then Arsenal started to win things, and Spurs fans soon piped down, especially when Wenger combined the defensive machine of George with the attacking flair he imported through his network.
I watched the great Italian teams of the 2000s absorb play and sucker punch Arsenal. We’d all wake up to NAIVE ARSENAL headlines. I suffered through the José Mourinho era, where his monstrous teams would bully us, and suck the joy out of our fragrant displays of football, by sh*tting on us with the hard-hitting reality of a bulldozer in the garden centre of win at all costs.
Wenger didn’t believe in tall defenders for years. We relied on inappropriate 6s who had no power, legs, or nastiness. We tried to copy Barca, but on a budget, without the press, with no Lio Messi.
I have seen the beauty these neutrals speak of, I reveled in it like a dog in a thick puddle, there’s no doubt I have taken the moral high ground because of one touch passing and Jack Wilshere inspired moments of wonder… and let me tell you, friends, it’s an empty place to be.
You know it, I know it, we all know it. Arsenal fans have wanted a win-at-all-costs coach for many years, now we have one, replicating the great managers of the past 30 years. I am not going to get into pathetic arguments with people who are worried what the neutrals think of the football.
Where were the neutrals when Stoke players were breaking young idealists’ legs and ankles? Where were the media during those savage times? Laughing at Arsenal because we were meek. Demanding we become men. Lecturing us on the pragmatism of whoever was the flavor of the month.
How am I reading Mourinho’s preferred journalists piping up about Arsenal football, pointing to the disgraceful, ill-disciplined goal fest that was PSG vs Bayern? 5-4… great fun, no doubt, but in the Champions League semi final? Are you kidding me? Appalling stuff. I didn’t just witness 9 world-class goals. I’m sorry, I saw horrendous one vs one defending, I saw empty midfields ghosted, there was terrible keeping, I saw a player who is 5 foot 6 score a header because no one tracked, and a lack of concentration to hold onto a 3 goal lead by PSG to kill the tie.
This was Mourinho on Arsenal back in 2004 after Arsenal beat Spurs by the same score.
“Five-four is a hockey score, not a football score. In a three-against-three training match, if the score reaches 5-4, I send the players back to the dressing rooms as they are not defending properly. So to get a result like that in a game of 11 against 11 is disgraceful.”
You shouldn’t be getting 9-goal thrillers at this level. It means something has gone wrong. Is it fun to watch, no doubt, but I’m not watching the Champions League tomorrow for fun… I’m in it to win. I don’t care about being the critics’ choice. I care that we finally deliver. If that’s because we have the best defence, you will not hear a complaint from me. That is how so many of the great sides have won big trophies in the past. We are ever so close to being one of those great sides.
Don’t worry though, we only have one of the most elite midfielders to have graced the planet seeing through the absolute mountain of bullsh*t. Here’s Clarence Seedorf.
Bayern and PSG are not going to get away with that sort of football against Arsenal this season. We’ll do to Bayern what we did to them in December and if we play against PSG, we’ll actually have our best players available, so it will not be the same tie as before, and we’ll make that xG count, because they won’t have Donnaruma to save them this time (Matvéi Safónov, my word, what a downgrade).
This game had no man-to-man marking, the pressing was an abomination, and both teams were wide open. I’ve never seen anything like it. So ill-disciplined and messy.
Crazy that both these teams play in leagues where they are so overpowered they can have fresh players at this stage of the season… and look shambolic, like they’ve played 6 games back-to-back. Never forget, when you’re celebrating these teams, they have it extremely easy because their domestic leagues are so weak.
But, that’s a chat for another day.
Arsenal are not playing a team like that, though it is hard to pretend the Atleti we’re up against tonight are a freight train of solidity. They are not who they were. They’re conceding 1.86 goals per game. They narrowly squeezed past Barca, who played with 10 men in both games. They lost the second leg of the quarters to Spurs. They were beaten by Bodø, drew to Brugge, drew to Gala, were hammered by Liverpool, and they were hammered by… Arsenal.
Still, this is a semi final. It awakens the beast within. Players having an average season will find their footing. The home fans in Madrid will be otherworldly. Arsenal players will feel the jangle of nerves when that theme tune reverberates around a sea of gnashing Atleti die-hards.
The job is simple, exit without losing. That’s the best thing that could happen for the game, it’s also what our Premier League push needs. But also, remember not to lose your sh*t if we narrowly lose, these games are never won with a one-goal lead. Even a 2-goal lead doesn’t mean we’re finished, especially knowing we’ll likely have Kai, Saka, Odegaard, and Eze for leg two.
Arsenal players do better in the Champions League. The pressure is lower. I think as a fan base, we really, really want the Premier League. Champions League is a roll of the dice. Nice to have, not expected. But, if you were a gambling man right now… you know, not an emotional one, you’d probably look at the data and say we had a pretty good chance of winning this if we can escape Madrid in good shape.
I want to see a spirited performance, some heroes stepping up, I want an iconic night to remember at a really tough away stadium.
Is that too much to ask? We’ll find out soon enough… have a great day.