What Do Moms Really Want for Mother's Day? (Hint: Not Flowers)

Everyone knows that Mother’s Day is more about commerce than tapping into mom’s deepest emotional needs. Still, a new survey has taken the time to find out what mothers truly need, on Mother’s Day and every day. (So, hint, hint: Give it a read!)

Commissioned by It’s a Family Thing (IAFT), an AI-powered family app that distributes household tasks, and conducted online by Talker Research earlier this month, the survey reached out to 2,000 American moms of kids under 19, making generational comparisons.

It found that the No. 1 mom need when it comes to reducing day-to-day mental load is more personal time to rest and recharge, something cited by 42% of respondents.

Other needs, in descending hierarchical order, are more help from other family members (wanted by 40%), not having to remind others about tasks or responsibilities (37%), better communication within their family (33%), better follow-through from their kids (32%), and less overall responsibility (24%).

The message is clear: The hidden but very real mental load parenting — doing everything from organizing playdates and planning meals to calming down a crying kid and worrying about everyone’s well-being — is a heavy burden. A 2024 study found that mothers take on 71% of such tasks, with fathers managing just 45%, while a separate survey found that the mental load was leaving 43% of women emotionally exhausted.

“When women feel disproportionately responsible for ensuring the well-being of their children, in relation to their partners, there can be associated strains on the mother’s personal well-being as well as her satisfaction with the marriage,” found yet another study, from 2019. “Ultimately, greater acknowledgement that the invisible burden of household management is in fact real … can be beneficial for mothers themselves, for the quality of their marriages, and inevitably, for the well-being of children for whose care they are primarily responsible.”

Other notable findings: Millennial moms, it seems, are the most mentally drained with 49% putting themselves in that category. And both millennial and Gen X moms say more personal time is their No. 1 need.

“Families need to start to share the load — ideally equally — or else mom will become more and more resentful,” says Priya Rajendra, CEO and co-founder of IAFT. “Everyone in the family has to understand that moms shouldn’t be managing the household alone.”