Michigan State's spring game shenanigans are a crime against humanity

Another round of college football spring games took place across the nation earlier this week, as the weather continues to warm and the campuses farther to the north start their spring football activities.

While most programs are using this time to iron out their quarterback depth chart or figure out what their two-deep looks like along the offensive line, there are others who treat their spring game as a celebration for the fans as well as a culmination of the players' hard work this winter.

To some, that means an open practice, while others will have a seven-on-seven showcase or even a skills competition.

All that is to say, what happened in East Lansing, Michigan, with the Michigan State Spartans on Saturday afternoon was not only none of the above, but should have the program under serious consideration for the death penalty.

What in God's name did I just watch?

We have a lot of fun around here, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and dizzy bat relays in lieu of a spring game may very well be that line.

"Oh, but Austin, they're just having fun! They work hard in the winter. They deserve a day to let loose."

Let me ask you something: is losing fun?

Because since their 11-win season and Peach Bowl victory in 2021, the Spartans haven't won more than five games.

I also realize they still played their spring game after this little bat race, but seriously, you're trying to prove to your fanbase that you're here to resurrect a once-proud football program, not organize a Founder's Day at a Fortune 500 company.

And speaking of the fans, what a slap in the face to have this smack-dab in the middle of a spring game that they came to in year one of a new coaching regime.

I can tell you this right now: my team is in year one of a new coaching staff and desperate to get back to their glory days of yesteryear. If that bat race relay happened in the Swamp at any point during our spring game, I would have started a bonfire with every piece of Florida merch I owned.

Our fans would've made January 6 look like story time at the local preschool.

Spartan fans aren't exactly thrilled either, if the comments are any indicator.

The jokes practically write themselves.

Which is another reason why this was a horrible idea: bad optics.

Pat Fitzgerald better pray his team goes 8-4 or better this season, otherwise the GIFs that will be made from this will be legendary.

I'll be rooting for you, Sparty, but we are a far cry from the Mark Dantonio days in East Lansing.