Freed: Trump’s boorish behaviour overshadowed this week’s big news
There’s been oodles of news the past week: Mark Carney got his majority government, Christine Fréchette is our new Quebec premier and the Canadiens are in the playoffs.
Not to mention the stunning moon flyover.
But, as usual, it has all been overshadowed by TrumpaTrumpaTrumpaTrump.
Here’s the latest news, along with big news from the future.
In Quebec: We just got a new premier whose name few anglophones even knew until last week.
Christine, er … uh … Fréchette is a female Gen Xer who hopes to give the CAQ a younger, more hip, pragmatic look.
But she has to defend a party that’s been looking old and dated. Much of the CAQ leadership race was about toughening language laws yet again and limiting the number of French-speaking immigrants.
Fréchette wants to keep us at an already miniscule 45,000 newcomers, although Quebec’s birth rate is shrinking rapidly and our towns are crying out for workers.
But Fréchette is practically an open-door compared to the PQ, who want the limit set at 35,000. But why not 20,000? Or 10,000?
Maybe we don’t need any immigrants at all. I guess we native Quebecers will fill all those empty jobs as farm workers, fruit-pickers, dishwashers, daycare workers and janitors.
If we’re ever in hospital, we can all be our own orderlies.
Canada: Mark Carney’s Liberals suddenly have a majority government, created largely by opposition MPs fleeing across the parliamentary floor like desperate Roxham Road refugees.
Carney can mostly thank Donald Trump, as Canadians of all political stripes are united by one powerful bond: our distaste for the U.S. president.
Carney is now the anti-Trump.
The world: Last week’s news should have been mostly about NASA’s rocket circling the far side of the moon, an awe-inspiring sight humans have never seen so closely.
Space is a mind-blowing experience that brings most astronauts back humbled and fearful for our tiny microdot planet, hovering in black emptiness.
It reveals how fragile Earth looks from space, with no visible nations, or borders worth slaughtering each other over.
But Trump managed to out-news the inspiring moon mission, with a trifecta of boorish behaviour.
In just one week, the U.S. president threatened that Iran’s “whole civilization will die tonight … never to be brought back.”
Next he insulted the Pope, as “WEAK on crime and foreign policy,” infuriating Catholics. Then he posted a doctored photo of himself as Jesus healing the sick, infuriating everyone.
The rude, crude and lewd president never fails to surprise. All while he changes war plans at every golf tee, and more people die.
What next? Trump has already insulted countless world figures from Justin Trudeau, Emmanuel Macron and Angela Merkel to Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Meryl Streep, Arnold Schwarzenegger and late war hero John McCain.
Who will he insult next? I expect these to be his next social media targets.
Nelson Mandela: “The guy did some OK stuff, but spent half his life in prison… Not smart. Should have made a deal, I would’ve, DAY ONE.
“TOTAL LOSER.”
Napoleon: “Another loser. Very short, very angry. Died alone on an island. Sad! I own better islands, all with TREMENDOUS golf courses. My exile would have been the best. THE BEST.
“People would’ve begged to join.”
William Shakespeare: “Totally OVERRATED. Nobody understands a word the guy writes.
“My Tweets are better written, much better. Everyone says that!!”
Albert Einstein: “Good hair, but very overrated guy. All those CRAZY formulas nobody understands except the so-called ‘experts’.
“E = MC-something-or-other … Is that even English? Something about trains passing … who cares? I only fly private.”
Mahatma Gandhi:“I’ve seen his pictures, the guy didn’t eat enough. Scary thin. SCARY. He should have had better management.
“Maybe also a trainer and better chef. Coulda been a WINNER.”
Beethoven: “I don’t get his music. VERY NOISY. You’d have to be deaf to listen to it … oh yeah, he was.
Charles Darwin: “An OK guy. Came up with this evolution thing, maybe right, maybe not. Who knows?
“But ‘survival of the fittest’? I actually said that before him. Darwin got it from me. Just ask him. I’ve got his Instagram address here somewhere.
Viktor Orban: “GREAT guy. Should never have lost that Hungary ‘election’. Shoulda forced a recount.
“I hear the whole thing was rigged. FAKE NEWS! I’d never accept results like that.”
Mark Carney: “I got him elected, it was all ME. But the guy never even said thank you. He won’t accept my tariff deal, won’t send ships to Iran, won’t bomb anybody. TOTAL WUSS.
“Now he’s got a majority government — whatever that is — again because of ME. Ungrateful S.O.B.
“When I take over, He’s FIRED as Canada governor. GONE!! I’ll put someone smarter in the job.
“I hear Orban’s looking for work.
The Artemis II astronauts: “Brave guys, I guess. I could’ve gone along, true story. They offered me a seat, but I said I needed two.
“I saw the Earth pictures. Still a lot of green space left. VERY encouraging … for real estate deals.
“The moon? HUGE potential. HUGE. I‘m gonna rename it something classier, something BEAUTIFUL!
“You’re gonna love this: Ready?
“MOON-A LAGO!”
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