I’d Love to Pass Through the Strait of Hormuz, but No Worries If Not

I’m reaching out because, well, I’ve got this shipment of 2.1 million barrels of crude oil, and I would LOVE it if I could just squeeze on by and pass through the Strait of Hormuz? Honestly, no worries if not, though!

It’s just that the vast amount of crude oil I have aboard is the lifeblood of several regional economies. Without it reaching its destination, millions will be unable to afford to heat their homes and fuel their cars, causing those economies to become increasingly unstable, undermining, in turn, the stability of the world at large. But if it’s a no, that’s fine!

I know you’re super committed to whichever geopolitical concern has driven you to block the Strait, and listen, I totally get it. That sounds really stressful and complicated. You’re doing an amazing job, by the way! I’ve heard that, like, no one is getting through, and that must be such a pain to deal with day in and day out.

I definitely don’t want you to think I’m asking for special treatment. I’m sure you’re absolutely swamped with “I need to pass through the Strait of Hormuz” asks these days. Everyone is like, “I’m carrying fertilizer or natural gas or another essential commodity!” Ughhh, must be so annoying. I’m sure you’ve heard it all.

I do, though, have a LOT of people relying on me getting through and dropping this off—a couple of world leaders and some citizens of developing nations and such—and if you could do me a favor and make an exception this one time, that would be amazing. But once again, no worries if not!

If it’s a no this time, which, to reiterate, is so fine… I just wonder if you happen to know when the Strait might reopen? I’ve heard a lot of people asking around the Persian Gulf, and I figured I’d just see if you knew the answer. Seems like having an answer to that question would be super helpful for folks and maybe even lead to sustained, predictable global economic growth this fiscal year.

But if you don’t know, no biggie at all!