The impetus for this ridiculous rhetorical exercise is the newest Catan game, the portable version called, appropriately, Catan On The Road. It promises a play time of 15 minutes, and the entire game comprises just 120 cards to represent resources, buildings, knights, roads, and events. It includes resource trading, which is one of the biggest keys to the original’s breakout success, and adds a rules twist to encourage more of it. There’s no map, or board, which would obviously pose a bit of an obstacle to the portability goal, but without that it doesn’t feel like a Catan game. It is, however, pretty good in its own right, and maybe it wouldn’t get the same kind of release or audience if it was something like Teotihuacan On The Road. (Fine, I’d probably buy that too.)
In Catan On The Road, the goal is to be the first to get seven victory points. You receive a random resource card at the start of each turn, and then you can use your resources to buy one of the five face-up cards in the market, which is where you’ll find settlements, cities, roads, and knights. Settlements are worth one victory point, cities are worth two, and there are two-point cards for whoever has the longest road and the largest army at any time. As in the base game, cities go on top of settlements; you can also eventually build one metropolis (three points) on top of a city. That all means you can’t just build whatever you like when you get the resources together—it has to be available in the market at that time.
You can trade resources here, and you’ll probably have to—but the game provides an incentive for you to do so, unlike in the original. If you accept a trade offer, you also get a bonus resource by drawing the top card of the deck. This makes the game easier, less frustrating, and faster, all of which are desirable things in a game that’s supposed to be quick and portable. Once again, it makes the game less Catan-y, while also making it more accessible to new players and non-gamers. (The 15 minute play time is optimistic, though, unless you’re playing with three players rather than four and everyone is highly motivated.)
I don’t think Catan On The Road is really a Catan game—and other than the name, I don’t think it’s really trying to be another Catan game. If you love Catan, this isn’t going to scratch the same itch. It’s a different enough game to stand on its own, and I imagine the reaction will be split between Catan stans who don’t like how stripped down it is and fans of casual games who enjoy this one on its own merits. Maybe there’s a way to make Catan more portable, but this isn’t it; as long as you’re not expecting it to be, you’ll appreciate it for what it is.