Growing Up With Brothers, I’ve Always Gotten Along Better With Guys Who Don’t Respect Me

I’m not your average girl. Sure, I wear makeup, jewelry, and dresses, but don’t let my feminine exterior fool you: I like to drink beer. I love sports. And I can hang with the boys, even when things get a little rough and rowdy. That’s because when I was younger, I had no other choice.

Growing up with brothers, I’ve always gotten along better with guys who don’t respect me. 

Maybe it’s the fact that I was raised with three older boys who were constantly putting me in headlocks and calling me degrading nicknames, but as an adult, there’s nothing I enjoy more than spending time with men who belittle me, taunt me, or question my intelligence. Most women I know would prefer to drink wine and gossip with their girlfriends. Not me! I’d rather go to a sports bar, watch the game, and sit silently while the guys either ignore me for hours, compare me to their nagging wives, or explain the rules of football to me like I’m a child. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love all my girlfriends! But I was surrounded by so much masculine energy as a kid that I’m just more comfortable hanging out with guys who fundamentally view me as a second-class citizen. Girls can be so catty! But not my male friends. They just forget I’m there, talk over me, and call me a “boner killer” or ask me if I’m on my period if I ever express an opinion.

If you give me the choice between “girl talk” and being told to “shut your mouth, woman” or “go make me a sandwich” while a room full of men erupts into raucous laughter, that’s a no-brainer! I just love watching sports and staying silent!

I remember when I was in middle school. All the girls would want to go to the mall or talk about kissing boys. I felt like an alien! But I always felt like myself around my brothers and their friends—getting mocked when I tried to play basketball with them, being pushed to the ground, and being told to fuck off because they thought I was a “freak” and an “ugly, horse-faced lesbo.” 

Even today, I’d much rather have guy friends who tell me I’m “pretty smart for a girl,” or hang out with my male coworkers who say that I was just hired because they needed a woman and I had a nice rack. If there’s an intramural flag football team, I’m on it! And the guys put me on the bench.

When I first started dating my future husband, he was shocked at how many male friends I had. I guess he’d never seen a woman who could kick back with the guys and bite her tongue while validating and ignoring years of casual sexism!

You try growing up with three misogynistic brothers and coming out normal!

Yes, my childhood was crazy, but my brothers made me the person I am today. For the rest of my life, I’ll always gravitate towards men who look straight past me, overlook me professionally, objectify me, stereotype me, physically intimidate me, and view my entire gender as inferior. I just love being told I only got a promotion because I probably slept with the boss! It always makes me feel at home. 

What can I say? I’m just “one of the guys”! And I feel like shit all the time!

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