‘Euphoria’ Season 3 Is Already Going Off The Rails—Here Are The 7 Worst (And Most Cringey) Parts Of The First Episode

To say that Euphoria has always been a perfect show would be a stretch. While it definitely had a certain je ne sais quois that kept people tuning in every weekend (and making it one of the most-watched shows in HBO history), there was also plenty of critique surrounding its exploitative nature and inconsistent storylines. Still, at the end of the day, Euphoria was fun.

Season 3, however, might not even be that.

There’s something inherently awkward and cringey about the first episode of the show, as if all of the actors sort of just… gave up. And all of the writers. And maybe also the show’s creator, Sam Levinson. Does anyone care about Euphoria anymore, besides the network and their need for a new popular show to keep people tuning in ever week?

Well, clearly I care enough to complain, so here are the cringiest and absolutely worst moments from the first episode of season 3.

1. Rue becomes a drug mule (except it sort of just seems like the storyline is a vehicle for fetish content)

Look, we’re used to Rue getting herself into bad situations due to her bad decisions, especially surrounding drugs. This season brings back Laurie (played by Martha Kelly) as the cool-headed drug dealer who wants Rue to pay for the past and recruits her as part of her operation. While it’s become exhausting (and, quite frankly, pretty boring) by now, this storyline also takes a bizarre (and gross!) turn, with Rue and Chloe Cherry’s Faye having to ingest and later defecate (or gag out) balloons of drugs. It’s… unnecessarily graphic, and even leads to a scene that has a dog licking feces off of Faye’s leg. Who is this for? And why does it feel so sexual for no reason???

2. Jacob Elordi, once again, treats a woman like a dog.

Look, Nate and Cassie engaging in pup play after Cassie dresses up like a sexy dog for the internet is… whatever, I guess. I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong or weird with that if that’s what the characters enjoy consensually. But how is it that Jacob Elordi has somehow played a man who has kept a woman on a leash sexually TWICE in the same year, the first time being in Wuthering Heights? What is happening here? Did Jacob let Sam Levinson read Emerald Fennell’s screenplay for inspiration? Why did Jacob Elordi slip into his Elvis accent while pulling Sydney Sweeney on a leash? There are so many questions and so few answers.

3. We learn that Fezco is in jail for 30 years and then we just… move on.

Sam Levinson said he wanted to keep Fez alive in the ‘Euphoria’ universe, even though actor Angus Cloud passed away in 2023. While I can understand that impulse, it also feels a bit weird to bring him up only for Lexi to look conflicted at the thought of reaching out to him and keeping in touch. It’s unclear if this is going to be a storyline or if they’re ever going to dive into these feelings, because it seems like it might be something that’s a little difficult to resolve without Lexi actually interacting with Fez. I guess this is a storyline we’ll just have to see play out, but if it ends here, all I have to say is: Why??????

4. Cassie decides to become an OnlyFans model… because Nate won’t spend $50k on wedding flowers

Genuinely, Cassie and Nate’s storyline at this point feels the most bonkers and out of character for me. Despite ending season 2 on a rocky note, the two are suddenly engaged, and they’re both acting incredibly different, almost like they’re different characters entirely. Cassie, who we’ve seen only ever grovel and submit to Nate, suddenly seems ready to risk the entire relationship… for $50k worth of flowers for their wedding. Nate argues that he would be fine paying even $5k for flowers, but that’s not enough for Cassie, who decides to tell him that maybe they shouldn’t get married if they can’t afford the flowers she wants. Like… what????

First of all, it’s absolutely insane that Nate didn’t absolutely blow up right then. For a character who’s main personality trait for two seasons was having unaddressed anger issues stemming from toxic masculinity, he’s suddenly been lobotomized into submission, and for some reason the thought of Cassie calling off the wedding freaks him out enough that he gives her the go ahead to start an OnlyFans. Okay, then.

5. Rue (yes, RUE) is enticed by tradwife culture

After spending a short amount of time with an ultra-religious family who lives off the grid, Rue suddenly has her own Christian awakening. She’s charmed by the life this family seems to lead, causing her to consider a similar life for herself.

Look, unlike Lexi, I’m not against Christianity as a concept. If Rue wants to become religious, sure! But it’s SO weird to have a character that in the past seasons seemed so incredibly sensitive to matters of misogyny and homophobia suddenly glamorize a lifestyle that pretty clearly clashes with those belief systems. We don’t really even see what might entice her, except maybe the fact that she’s given fresh milk to drink in the morning. Please tell me Gen Z is not this easy to break.

6. Speaking of which… why is Colman Domingo defending homophobia in the Bible?

Look, look! I’m not saying this show has to preach in any way. I’d never come to Euphoria looking for a moral compass. This show gets off on being edgy! But having Colman Domingo, an openly queer man, have a whole monologue explaining why the Bible was written in a way that is homophobic and defending it as such? Weird! Why are we doing that!!! Please, Sam Levinson, let this man know peace.

7. Everyone woman is a sex worker in Sam Levinson’s world

Sam Levinson is clearly not interested in living in a world where women work behind a desk or in retail or… literally doing anything that doesn’t require them to subject themselves to some level of exploitation.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently wrong with sex work. But there is something incredibly weird about a man writing every single one of his female characters in this specific way. Cassie is going to become an OnlyFans model, and we know from the previews that Maddie is going to be the one to help her create the content. Jules, we’re told, is a sugar baby now (though Maddy helpfully uses the word “hooker” when describing Jules now). Even Nate goes so far as to call Cassie a “prostitute” for the content she’s posting online. While Rue herself may not be exploited for sex (though she certainly is exploited in other ways), she does spend time at a brothel and seems jealous of the man who runs it. If it was all written in a more thoughtful, nuanced way, it would be one thing, but… I don’t know what the hell this is.

Hey, Sam Levinson! Maybe you should go to therapy? Or jail? Anyway, just think about it!