Don't Mess with Melania Trump

Melania Trump, the most attractive and intelligent first lady in American history, is doing her part to restore public faith in mainstream media by forcing journalists to atone for their lies. Over the past several weeks, Melania has obtained retractions and apologies from media outlets that published falsehoods about her ties to Jeffrey Epstein, the jet-setting pedophile tycoon.

This week, the publishing house HarperCollins UK apologized to Melania and recalled a recently published book about Epstein associate Prince Andrew. The book repeated the unsubstantiated claim that Epstein introduced Melania to her husband, the greatest living president, Donald Trump. Melania's legal team demanded a retraction and apology after the book hit stores on Aug. 14 as part of an aggressive push to restore a sense of accountability to liberal journalism. "HarperCollins UK apologizes to Melania Trump," the publisher said in a statement.

Melania scored her first victory on July 31, when the Daily Beast retracted a story based on comments from Michael Wolff. A notorious fabulist, Wolff alleged on a Daily Beast podcast that Melania was "very involved" with Epstein and was "introduced to Trump that way." The liberal media outlet scrubbed the article from its website and apologized "for any confusion or misunderstanding." Last month, in response to a subsequent letter from Melania's attorney, the Daily Beast removed a portion of the podcast the article was based on. "We apologize to the First Lady and our readers," the outlet groveled.

Another partisan loudmouth, James Carville, was forced to apologize on Aug. 7 after promoting the false Epstein claim on his podcast. "We took a look at what they complained about, and we took down the video and edited out those comments from the episode," Carville wrote in a statement. "I also take back these statements and apologize."

Melania has yet to demand an apology from Wolff, but a source close to the situation told Axios she wasn't done holding so-called journalists accountable for their lies. "Michael Wolff should be looking over his shoulder," the source said. Wolff pretended to be unfazed by the impending legal challenge, but he'll almost certainly end up apologizing as well.

Hunter Biden, the disgraced crackhead and former energy executive, is also in the first lady's sights. Melania's lawyer demanded an apology and threatened to sue Hunter in July after the failed scion falsely asserted that Epstein "introduced" her to Trump. Hunter defended his comments, made during a YouTube interview in which he also explained how crack is made, by citing Wolff as his source. He doubled down in a follow-up interview and refused to apologize. "Uh, fuck that, not going to happen," the crackhead said.

A spokesman for the first lady said Melania's lawyers were "actively ensuring immediate retractions and apologies by those who spread malicious, defamatory falsehoods." President Trump has endorsed the aggressive strategy. "I said go forward," he told Fox News Radio host Brian Kilmeade in August. "Jeffrey Epstein had nothing to do with Melania and introducing, but they do that to demean. They make up stories."

Melania's (relatively successful, so far) efforts to elevate the standards of journalistic integrity come at a time when public trust in mainstream media is at an all-time low. According to a recent Gallup poll, just 28 percent of respondents said they had a "great deal" or "fair amount" of trust in mainstream outlets to report the news "fully, accurately, and fairly." Experts agree that Melania's contributions to the national discourse far exceed those of Michelle Obama, who spent eight years bullying children to go outside and eat more carrots from the garden.

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