I Hate the Family Ring My Fiancé Proposed With

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I hate the ring my boyfriend of 5 years proposed with. It’s incredibly ugly. He used the ring of a recently deceased relative who meant a lot to him and he says it would have meant a lot to her for me to have it. However, I know for a fact she hated me and frankly, the feeling was mutual. I know these are awful things to say but, after five years, the last thing I wanted was a ring with a gold band from someone who was frankly a huge bitch to me. But I’m scared there’s no way for me to voice any of this. Sigh.

My kneejerk response is: if you can’t voice any of this to your soon-to-be betrothed, you have bigger problems than a ring, babe. However, maybe the ring is an easy in-road to a hard conversation about that relative. I think there’s a way for you to say: “You know what? I’m not totally comfortable with this being my engagement ring because I didn’t get the sense they actually liked me that much. I’m happy to keep it and ensure it endures in the family, but I think my engagement ring should be the start of a new tradition.” If he argues with that…that’s on him.