I turned into a cougar at 60 and now have loads of sex – my toyboys have raging libidos & don’t need viagra

WHEN mum-of-one Stella Ralfini, from North London, turned 60, she switched to toyboys – and has never looked back.

Sipping champagne on a Eurostar a couple of months ago, I felt so happy.

Olivia West

When Stella Ralfini, from North London, turned 60, she switched to toyboys[/caption]

Olivia West

Stella met her first toyboy 17 years ago[/caption]

I knew that ahead of me were three days of Parisian magic — filled with loads of joyful sex.

The man sitting opposite me was James, my lover of four months, who is 14 years younger than me and can match my stamina both in and out of the bedroom.

An added bonus, he looks like Hugh Grant, too.

He’s my latest toyboy. I’ve indulged in six since I realised that men my age — I am now in my ­seventies — were unable to keep up with me and that younger men not only could, but would love the chance to.

As long as you’ve kept in shape and have confidence then you’re never going to be short of younger men wanting to please you.

It’s what I tell my friends every day.

In the trailer for the new Bridget Jones film, Renee Zellweger is dating hunky Leo Woodall, who is 27 years her junior.

If you want my advice, every midlife singleton should do the same.

My friends constantly complain that their husbands have no energy and just want to sit around.

I feel smug that I haven’t ended up like that.

My enlightenment came when I was 60. Up until then I had always dated older men. When I was in my twenties I even dated someone 25 years older than me.

That makes sense when you’re younger — men the same age are immature and inexperienced in bed.

It was a revelation

My age gaps gradually got smaller and the man I split up with when I was 60 was only eight years older than me.

We’d been together for eight years when he wanted to move abroad and for me to go too.

But by then our sex life was virtually non-existent because he’d lost his mojo. And I didn’t want to be saddled with a sexless future.

I’m highly sexed, menopause did nothing to dampen my ardour, so I opted to stay in London.

I also wanted to be close to my daughter and friends, though I don’t have grandchildren.

I didn’t plan what came next.

A few weeks later I was on a night out in a wine bar with a girlfriend when a gorgeous 48-year-old man approached me.

He had so much energy,
his obvious desire made me feel even more
attractive

Stella

Within a few dates we ended up in bed and it was a revelation.

He had so much energy, his obvious desire for me made me feel even more attractive.

There was no struggle or concern that he wouldn’t have the energy or be able to rise to the occasion, unlike with many older men who need help in the form of Viagra.

This man was primed and ready from the first kiss.

I hate Viagra. It feels artificial.

I like to know that a man is turned on by me.

And in my experience, with Viagra it becomes all about their penis — they want you to admire the drug’s effects.

Generally, younger men don’t have paunches or dress sloppily and they don’t want to stay in all the time or talk about their grand­children, like men my age.

Look around and you’ll see so many fabulous mature women ­dating younger men.

And when it all comes to an end, which it inevitably will, they can handle it.

Take Strictly judge Shirley Ballas, 64, and actress Tamzin Outhwaite, 54, who both recently split with their younger lovers.

People’s first response is to feel sorry for them, but there’s no need.

They should not be pitied, they’ll easily find a replacement when they want one. They’re gorgeous women and younger men would snap them up.

And I suspect once they’ve been with a younger man, they won’t make the mistake of dating an older one.

I dated my first younger man for about a year. It ended mutually when it just wasn’t as fun any more.

My relationships always end amicably. Sometimes I fall in love, sometimes I don’t, but if it isn’t working for either of you then there’s no point in being together.

I’ve learnt from experience that is something younger men find attractive — there’s nothing needy about me, other than my sex drive.

I’m financially secure, I have my own home, I have friends and hobbies and I enjoy travelling.

I want their company in bed and over dinner but no commitment.

I don’t even share a bed with them to sleep.

I know I don’t like snoring or farting and presume it would destroy my mystique too.

And I always make sure they don’t see me in the morning until I’ve brushed my hair and applied some light make-up.

I remember Paula Yates once saying that a man should never see you shaving your legs — it’s important to preserve an image.

Since I met my first toyboy 17 years ago, I’ve had five more and two men who were my age — the older two only confirmed that youth was a better bet.

I’m not looking for companionship, which is often all older men can offer. I’m looking for a man whose libido matches mine.

Alamy

Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones in her younger years[/caption]

My relationships have lasted for anything from a couple of weeks to two years.

And I’ve met my men everywhere from dance classes — I do Latin and afro beat once a week — to wine bars and through friends.

I don’t tend to do dating apps.

Once men see your age they make presumptions and think my pictures must be out of date as I look so young. They aren’t.

I met James, my current beau, at an art exhibition near my house in Hampstead, North London. We hit it off immediately and it’s a wonderful relationship.

We see each other whenever we can.

We both travel regularly but when we’re in London at the same time it’s virtually every day.

We don’t talk about the future, we enjoy the present.

Neither of us has any expectations, which is a joy.

So many older men want to constantly plan and talk about moving in together — I suspect because they want someone to look after them.

I’m not doing that.

James appreciates every aspect of being with me.

Older men ­sometimes put me down. I think they feel insecure as I’m so ­glamorous.

If anything, I’m in better shape than ever. I put part of my youthful looks down to having regular orgasms.

I’m a once-a-night girl these days. I value quality over quantity, but that’s more than enough to put a spring in my step.

I wish more women my age could appreciate how attractive they are to younger men.

The key is to get out there and enjoy yourself and men will come flocking.

Age is just a number. If it feels right, I say go for it, never mind the age gap

Stella

If you don’t feel you look good enough, do something about it.

Lose some weight or get a new haircut.

There’s no reason to look dowdy.

Age is just a number — James and I have never discussed how old I am. And for that reason I don’t know how much younger I’d go.

If it feels right, I say go for it, never mind the age gap.

My daughter chooses not to discuss it but my friends are all just completely supportive.

They find it funny and I’m trying to persuade the divorced and widowed ones to do the same as me.

I suspect some of the married ones wish they could.

One person I know would approve is my mother.

She was widowed aged 72 and started dating a 56-year-old.

It’s obviously in the genes.

She had the time of her life and now I am too.

If you are gorgeous, confident and sexual, like me, the world’s your oyster.

Ruckas

A screen grab from Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy[/caption]