Hypocrisy of celebs attending obscene £350m wedding of Indian billionaire in an age of inequality
AH, celebrities and politicians, those wonderful beacons of glitz, glamour and obnoxious hypocrisy.
Take the world’s most expensive and longest-running wedding celebrations — six months on and still going strong.
The £350million nuptials of Anant Ambani and pharmaceutical heiress Radhika Merchant are proving the ultimate spectacle of obscene wealth in an age of inequality.
Guests at last week’s fanfare ceremony in Mumbai included former PMs Tony Blair, the ultimate champagne socialist, and Boris Johnson who, to be fair, has never shied away from his propensity for Krug.
Kim and Khloe Kardashian were also there in full Indian regalia.
Before that, we had Justin Bieber, Mark Zuckerberg and Rihanna all attending no expense spared pre-wedding bashes.
Supermodel Karlie Kloss wore a traditional sari to one lavish party.
But, of course, when Hollywood elites do cultural appropriation, it’s called “dazzling” — when mere mortals sport a henna tattoo, it’s cancel culture territory.
Now this ridiculous circus is rolling into town — incongruously headed to Slough (alas not the Mars Bar factory, rather a posh estate called Stoke Park) — for some sort of UK afterparty.
The whole point, of course, is to market India as a global world power — “Look how rich and happy and cool we are, guys!
“Come holiday here! Trade with us!”
The Ambanis hired 100 jets to fly guests from around the world to the three-day wedding in Mumbai.
Every five-star hotel was booked.
There was an engagement party in January, a three-day wedding celebration in March and a three-day European cruise featuring on deck gigs by the Backstreet Boys, Pitbull and David Guetta.
The couple have been dubbed the “Windsors of India”.
So how fitting that Prince Harry is rumoured to be invited to the Slough bash — that famous global poverty campaigner and eco-warrior.
In fairness, the £90billion family magnanimously hosted a mass wedding on the outskirts of the capital, giving their blessing to over 50 underprivileged couples alongside some gifts ranging from gold ornaments to a year’s worth of groceries.
Which is a bit like you and I dishing out a couple of quid to a Big Issue seller and wanging on about it on social media afterwards.
The theatrical spectacle — handily live-streamed on TikTok by a Manhattan socialite — also showcased a truly memorable circus trick: an escaping moral compass.
Tens of millions of Indians live below the poverty line. Around 60 per cent live on less than £2.50 a day, the World Bank’s median poverty line.
‘Help suffering mites’
Blair — who, as PM, hosted the G8 summit in 2005 focusing on debt relief for poor countries — would, then, have had a bird’s eye view of Mumbai’s infamous Golibar slum.
Katy Perry, conveniently back on the pop promotion march, was appointed a UNICEF goodwill ambassador in 2013 for her commitment to improving the lives of some of the world’s most vulnerable children.
Doubtless she will use the “millions” she was reportedly paid to serenade the happy couple at a masquerade ball in Cannes to help suffering mites even more.
Similarly, superstar Justin, who generously tweeted his support for the Poor People’s Campaign — a faith-led, anti-poverty initiative — in 2021, can use his £7million pre-wedding singalong fee to help some more Poor People.
And eco-warrior Rihanna jetted in to Jamnagar, Gujarat — it is not known whether it was on her private jet or an Ambani one — to collect her £5million pay cheque for 19 songs.
(Although the Bajan singer has previously donated big money to eco charities, but still).
Kim Kardashian, not a woman famed for her philanthropy perhaps, did once donate 1,000 pairs of designer shoes to a teenage girl to help her help those in need. She can donate even more Louboutins now!
The star deigned to attend the do — potential fee undisclosed — and cannily used the extra-curricular away day to film for her multi-million pound reality show, The Kardashians.
Selfless! The lot of them.
BE KAM ON DON TAUNTS
THE biggest problem Kamala Harris faces now isn’t unifying Democrats, it’s stopping woman-baiting Donald Trump from setting back feminism 50 years.
The former President-turned-would-be-President-again is no Emmeline Pankhurst reincarnate.
This, after all, is a man who said of supermodel Heidi Klum, “Sadly, she’s no longer a 10,” and of Kim Kardashian, “Does she have a good body? No.
“Does she have a fat ass? Absolutely.”
Of his own daughter, Ivanka, he even said: “She does have a very nice figure.
“Perhaps if she weren’t my daughter, I’d be dating her.”
This is a 78-year-old who thinks of women as objects, not people.
The “sport” he will have over the coming weeks at Kamala’s expense doesn’t bear thinking about.
And, worryingly, is likely to brainwash his redneck middle American male fans.
Beyond depressing.
STRIKE OUT OF ORDER
LAST week’s CrowdStrike crash proved, once again, how our reliance on tech leaves us wide open to disaster.
CEO George Kurtz also came in for criticism after issuing a “corporate speak” apology over the fiasco, which saw thousands stranded at airports and sent offices everywhere into meltdown.
Highlights included: “We refer customers to the support portal . . . our team is fully mobilised to ensure the security and stability of CrowdStrike customers.”
Erm, what would people have preferred?
“Oopsy daisy, we did a whoopsie”?
Quite.
IT really shouldn’t be too hard for the FA to appoint England’s next manager.
After all, there appear to have been at least a dozen blokes in every pub in the country over the past month who are absolute experts.
AI MAGAZINE EDITOR? YOU’VE BOT TO BE KIDDING!
A POPULAR online fashion mag, SheerLuxe (me neither), has given a job to a pretty robot with a “diverse background”.
Magazine bosses unveiled its latest hire, an “AI-enhanced fashion and lifestyle editor” called Reem.
To be clear, then, SheerLuxe (still no idea) has created an AI staff member of diversity instead of actually hiring (and paying) for one.
The end game is nigh, chaps.
WFH IS A BIT RICH!
KEIR Starmer’s WFH plans in the King’s Speech are divisive.
While many applaud the post-pandemic ability to shirk from home, understandably big bosses are worried it gives too much flexibility.
A new poll suggests nine in 10 CEOs regularly adopt hybrid working practises.
I’m THRILLED to learn the 0.1 per cent of top earners can watch Netflix on their lunch.
But on Friday, trying to get hold of a lawyer to quote for a story I was writing, proved futile.
An answerphone told me all solicitors were “out of the office on Fridays”, and rattled off alternative contact numbers which a procession of six-figure-earning lawyers subsequently failed to answer. Pathetic!
Just goes to show WFH really only benefits the already relatively affluent, while those on the ground (nurses, drivers, junior doctors, supermarket employees, catering staff, delivery operators etc), are alienated and punished.
AFTER a stressful Friday in the office, I headed for the gym.
Set up on the squat rack, I realised I was in shot of a man filming his workout.
Not wanting his “tens” of Insta “fans” to see my a**e, I furiously moved.
Minutes later, I was told off by another sweaty bloke for ruining his shot of himself stretching.
Seething.
GEN UP ON DIGS
AH, we all know a clocksucker and a meanderthal: Every. Single. Office. Has. One. (Including mine).
Gen Z workers have coined a range of less-than-flattering terms for their older colleagues, including “testiculators” – those with a tendency to wave their hands around while talking nonsense.
For the uninitiated, “meanderthals” are those slow on the uptake, while “clocksuckers” are unproductive workers itching for home time.