Girly Issues Related to Periods and Menopause

This blog post is for females only, and it relates to approaching menopause.  So, if you are a male, I’m going to have to ask you to please just go ahead and press your back button now.     It’s really nasty and gross, so I urge you to not read this if you are a man, or if you are squeamish in any way.

You have been warned.    I don’t want any guys posting comments on this blog, or I’ll know you read this and I’ll be embarrassed.   And so should you!

Okay, here’s the story…

I’m getting to the age of menopause.  My periods are really irregular.    Sometimes I skip a month. Sometimes I have a really light period that I hardly notice at all.   And sometimes I have a really heavy period that is horrible.    Not painful, just really freaky because of how heavy they are.  I’m going to describe this in a little more detail, but first you have to scroll down past Bill Lumburgh again to read more.  So here is yet another chance to hit your back button!

Okay, you’re still with me.  You asked for it.

Sometimes I will be brushing my teeth in the bathroom, and blood will start dripping down my leg and puddling on the floor.  Ewww, gross.  Luckily, that’s easy to clean up in the privacy of my own bathroom.

Once I woke up in bed, and my sheets and bed were so bloody, you’d think I was a murder victim.   Seriously, it was that bad.   That was fun to clean up.  And I am afraid to buy new sheets since they will likely get ruined anyhow.

Another time, I went to the gym to go swimming.  As I was changing into my suit, blood started dripping down my legs and pooling on the floor right there in the gym.   Luckily, I had two  towels that day.  I grabbed one and stuffed it between my legs, and threw another  on the floor to soak up the mess.     It was tricky getting dressed again, and cleaning things up.   I did it as fast as I could and left.  I have no idea if anyone noticed my predicament, as I was way too embarrassed to look around at other people.

The night before my most recent  race, the three little pigs tri, I was just starting my period.   I had no idea if it was going to be one of these Niagara falls style events.      And being a pool swim, I didn’t want any leakage to happen during the swim.   I looked into buying a diva  cup, but couldn’t find one in any local drug stores.    I almost bailed on the whole race.    But, since these heavy periods only come once in a while,  I decided to go to the race, but I was prepared to bail on race morning if need be.

What I did was this:  all morning while waiting for my swim start time, I wore a pad and went into the porta john several times.   That let me guage my status.     Then, right before  I had to get in line for my swim, I went in, put in a tampon, and pulled it out again to do a further test.   Things looked okay, so I then stuffed two extra large tampons in, got rid of the pad, and hoped that would be good enough.   It was pretty stressful.   And, thank goodness nothing happened.

Does anyone know how long this phase of menopause lasts?  I am thinking about HRT or something.  But if it only lasts a few months, then maybe I’ll just stick it out.    I don’t really have any other bothersome symptoms.  Maybe I am crabby sometimes, but exercise seems to  keep that at bay.  I think.

If you liked this article, you may also like this one about girly bike issues