Dodgers 3, White Sox 0: Bullpen breaks down, again

Pitchers’ duel gives way to the customary South Side giveaway

Oh, hi, there was baseball played on the South Side tonight? Or whatever the hell passes for baseball at 35th & Shields? You mean, I didn’t dream that Garrett Crochet scattered five hits and managed to escape unscathed across 5 2⁄3 innings while striking out six, all while making Shohei Ohtani look mortal? Holy shit, I didn’t hallucinate that?

OK then.

Somewhere after Crochet struck out Ohtani to open the game, my state of consciousness faded into a swirling sleep-deprived fugue state of which I have little to no recollection. My eyes watched pitches being thrown and outs being recorded, but names and faces became nothing but a blur.

Where did I go? Nobody knows!

I am pretty sure I came back to reality momentarily to witness another of Paul DeJong’s many displays of continual boneheaded play. Could neither DeJong nor Sosa be bothered to charge this grounder with any urgency?

And I know Pedro Grifol didn’t challenge this inconsequential play and lose, in the opening inning, on the third batter of the game, right? Right?

Goddamnit, that wasn’t a dream?

FUCK. What a dumbass.

I hate it here.

I didn’t hear it myself, but no lies would be detected if it were said ...

Oh, another day and another game in which White Sox “hitters” made another rando lefty look like Cy Young incarnate.

A pitchers’ duel, or snooze-fest, you decide ...

Meanwhile, in-between fever dream episodes, Crochet continued to raise his trade value by shutting down the mighty Dodgers bats for nearly six innings.

Crochet exited the game at 91 pitches, and of course the most predictable thing happened upon his exit.

A pair of doubles off of Steven Wilson and a DeJong throwing error plated two runs for the Dodgers. Unfortunately, I did not dream this either.

I swear to fucking god, a collection of inanimate cardboard standups would be stiffer competition than this hapless collection bad baseball players the fuckwits in charge thought would be an improvement over the 101-loss predecessor.

What. The. Shit. Are. We. Doing. Here. Chris. Getz?

And, rain. The universe must hate me or something.

I’m just gonna rest my eyes again. No one really cares what else happens in this one, right?

I could get behind this plan ...

The game returned from delay as several loud thunderclaps rumbled overhead. Seemed the baseball gods were kind enough to not drag out our misery any further ...

Future former White Sox Michael Kopech surrendered a third Los Angeles run on on an Ohtani sac fly to snuff out even the most deluded hope of a Pale Hose comeback in the ninth.

Trolley Dodgers 3, South Side Cardboard Standups 0.

Another day, another loss, another step towards the worst record in franchise history.

Seems even my fever dreams couldn’t spare me from another pathetic baseball game played by the team I grew up loving, which dies to me a little more with every day that passes ...

Just sell the fucking team already, Jerry ...

Futility Watch

White Sox 2024 Record 21-59, worst 80-game start in White Sox history (5 1⁄2 games ahead of the next-worst, 1948 White Sox)
White Sox 2024 Run Differential -167, tied for the tied for the 29th-worst 80-game start in MLB history
White Sox 2024 Season Record Pace 43-119 (.263)
Race to the Worst “Modern” 162-Game Record (2003 Tigers, 43-119) EVEN
Race to the Worst “Modern” Record in a 162-Game Season (1962 Mets, 40-120) 2 games behind
Race to the Most White Sox Losses (1970, 106) 13 games ahead
Race to the Worst White Sox Record (1932, 52-109-1*) 9 1⁄2 games ahead
Race to the Worst American League Record (1916 A’s, 38-124*) 5 games behind
*record adjusted to a 162-game season