I’ve accidentally fallen in love with my long lost sister
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE fallen in love with my sister, and I feel so ashamed.
We recently met up again by chance, after being separated as children, and I felt instantly attracted to her. She says she feels the same.
I’m 32 and she’s 25. I have a long term partner and a young son.
When I was a child, my mum died and my alcoholic dad couldn’t cope.
My brother, sister and I ended up being taken into care. I was fostered by one family, and they were fostered by another.
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Eventually, we lost touch completely.
A few weeks ago, I went out to a club with some friends to celebrate a birthday.
When it was my turn to get a round, I noticed that the barmaid was very attractive.
It was so easy to talk to her – like coming home.
I stayed at the bar chatting for the rest of the night. When her shift ended, I went back to her place and we kissed.
It was amazing – the chemistry was unreal.
Luckily, I stopped short of full sex, because I felt guilty about my partner.
After that, we started messaging. She said it felt like she’d known me forever.
And that’s when she told me about her childhood, about her foster parents, and how she’d changed her name.
I went cold as I realised she was my sister. I ran into the bathroom to be sick.
I avoided talking to her for days, but then I had to tell her the truth.
She was devastated too. We agreed not to tell anyone.
But neither of us can stop messaging and we both want to meet up again.
I am sure we’ll end up having sex. I know it’s wrong but I feel magnetically drawn to her.
What should I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Close relatives who haven’t grown up together can feel a strong attraction when they meet as adults.
It’s called genetic sexual attraction, and it’s not uncommon.
But that doesn’t mean it’s OK to have sex with your sister. You must agree that this will never happen.
It’s against the law because it’s regarded as incest. You could both go to prison.
You can never marry. And if you were to have kids, there’s a much higher risk of an abnormality.
Consider having counselling to help you overcome your feelings.
My support pack on Counselling will tell you how to access this.