I’m a school secretary & there’s 7 things which make class trips hell – over-anxious parents are the tip of the iceberg

Now we have reached the summer term, chances are your child will have a trip with school booked somewhere – probably because teachers are trying to break up the hellishly long weeks. 

It doesn’t matter if it is a day trip to a seaside town that no-one has heard of, or a week long jolly to the continent, whatever the destination, your little cherub will be super excited.

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Less excited will be the staff that have to accompany the little darlings. 

Oh, not the teacher that has organised the trip, they will be as giddy as the kids, no, the other teachers who have been roped in at last minute, to ‘help out’. 

Now, under my guise as The Secret School Secretary, I’m going to tell you what we REALLY think.

Brace yourself… it isn’t pretty.

Night time shenanigans

The PE teacher who signed up for the trip in the belief that it will be an easy/free pass out of lessons – they definitely did not think through the perils of trying to corral over-excited teenagers into separate rooms during the night (and keep them there!)

The entertainment for the staff begins when the children are dropped off ready for their adventures. 

Godawful parents

Sometimes, this can be the first time a parent has been seen in the school playground, and a round of ‘Guess the parent/child combo’ can be a fun game to start the day. 

Who does the gentleman with the pirate earring belong to? And what about the lady with the vibrant, tiger face, printed leggings? Ah, she’s making a beeline for the aforementioned PE teacher – by the way he’s trying to sidle away it looks as though he has been the focus of her attention before.

Coach trip hell

Then it’s onto the coach, along with the ubiquitous sick bucket. This bucket is a symbol of teachers’ hope over adversity, because it’s the one thing that children will not be sick in. On themselves, on the seats, on their friends, yes, but not in the bucket. But still it goes on the coach.

Overpacking = anxious parent

There is one thing that always frustrates school staff when it comes to trips: what kids bring along with them. On one hand you have the children who pack everything bar the kitchen sink, turning a one- or two-night trip away into something the requires two suitcases and seventeen outfit changes. 

This normally stems from over-anxious parents who worry over the kit list and then decide that their child can’t possibly be expected to survive with so few things (and let’s get real, the kit-list normally covers every eventuality, including being marooned). These children have clearly never been away from home before, and quite likely to not leave home until their parents deem them ready. Around 30 probably. 

You know you’ve got a kid, right?

Then on the other hand you have children whose parents have clearly lost the kit list and rock up to school with a pair of pants and their toothbrush. No toothpaste though.

Remember parents, if your child is going to the beach, it will rain. Ditto an amusement park. Ditto the countryside. Send your children with lots of layers so they can peel off the wet clothes as they go. 

Suncream = rain, anoraks = sun

However, if the forecast does say rain, pack sun cream. You never know.

There is one thing that both parents and teachers can agree on, and that is the seemingly exorbitant cost of school trips. 

Oh my, the cost. The cost!

A couple of nights away can be bad enough, but if your child is lucky enough to attend a school which counts skiing as part of their extra-curricular activities, then you may feel as though you are trying to plug the national debt of a small African nation.

However, whatever the cost, and wherever the destination, your child is bound to have an amazing time. Just please parents, don’t expect them to bring home their own belongings.

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