My husband’s porn type is nothing like me
DEAR DEIDRE: Since I discovered that my husband pleasures himself while watching porn, I have felt so unattractive.
He does it whenever he gets the chance – even when I’m in the next room.
We have been married for 15 years and have three children. I’m 45 and he is 47.
Over the last few years, he has grown distant and gone off sex. I knew he wasn’t having an affair – he works from home and doesn’t go out in the evenings – so I suspected he must be watching porn.
When I got hold of his laptop, I found reams of porn sites in its history, going back years. He watched them when he claimed to be working.
He has a type – women who look nothing like me and who do extreme sexual acts.
That makes me feel he was never attracted to me at all.
I love him but I feel desperately unhappy.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your husband is addicted to porn. It is this, not your attractiveness, that has put him off sex.
My support pack, Internet Pornography Worry, explains more.
His problem is not only affecting your marriage but also your self-esteem.
Tell him how you feel and ask him to seek help.
Speak to the Laurel Centre (thelaurelcentre.co.uk, 01926 339 594) which offers sex and porn addiction therapy, online and in person. Also look at pivotalrecovery.org, an online programme that can help him quit.
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