Let’s Make Some Money ’99
There’s nothing coming out this summer. Or the fall. Christmas? New movies by Paul Schrader, Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Ti West, and (hopefully) Hal Hartley, but nothing on the level of Barbie or Oppenheimer. Actors joined writers in striking the day that those two movies came out, and despite announcements, Lena Dunham has yet to make her Polly Pocket movie. Other Mattel products are surely being workshopped now for films, but how many of them will be big like Barbie, and how many will be bathetic like Unfrosted? I’m looking forward to Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, and while the apes fandom is devoted and large, it’s self-contained. There will be no sleeper hit here.
So how to make some money? I’m like you—I want to make some money. Let’s all make some money together. Twenty-five years since 1999—generally regarded as one of the greatest years in Hollywood history—and all moviegoers have been granted so far are The Mummy and Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace. Fine films, but there are so many great films from 1999: The Matrix, Election, The Sixth Sense, Cruel Intentions, Office Space. I could go on, but that’s five, and you probably have five more off the top of your head. Maybe whoever owns Magnolia can finally make some money out of it and give Paul Thomas Anderson the belated hit that he’s never had. Ditto American Pie, and The Blair Witch Project, which is being re-released or revived somehow.
In February, K. J. Yossman wrote in Variety that, “Unlike the post-COVID boom, which saw a glut of projects spring back into production as soon as restrictions were lifted, there hasn’t been the same momentum following the conclusion of the strikes. ‘Things haven’t come flooding back as yet,’ agrees Lee Stone, a partner at London-based entertainment law firm Lee & Thompson. The dust hasn’t settled enough yet to be able to say whether that’s because it’s ‘still too soon’ or because of a variety of other factors such as inflationary pressures, AI, new terms with U.K. crew union Bectu or simply because studios have had time to change their minds about projects.”
Not much different here, but I’m just a moviegoer. The only information I have about Hollywood today is from Bret Easton Ellis, unfailingly candid on his podcast. Last week he said, “no one’s working,” everyone’s depressed, there’s a stall. His own HBO series The Shards is proving difficult to adapt, and I doubt it’ll ever be shot. Better hope for Relapse, the thriller Ellis is directing in November; but for what, for who, for where? Where is Relapse going to go and who’s going to see it and who’s going to talk about it? These are all questions he’s asked himself out loud, about his own work or others. Jerry Seinfeld of all people nailed it: movies are no longer the pinnacle of our culture.
So you want to make a lot of money. I want to make a lot of money. Let’s make a lot of money together. Release everything great from 1999, when movies were still grand, before “they don’t make ‘em like they used to.” Remind people what it’s like to see incredible films in crowded theaters. You won’t lose out on a theatrical re-release of The Matrix. That movie will make way more money today—look at how it’s infected our culture, beyond film culture. Hey hey, I just want to make some money, take the long view up in the executive suite.
—Follow Nicky Otis Smith on Twitter and Instagram: @nickyotissmith