My wife is using the dog to stop us from getting intimate
DEIDRE SAYS: My wife says I am not being fair to the dog when I remove it from our bedroom but I think she uses it as an excuse to avoid getting close to each other.
I am a 57-year-old man. My partner is 55. We have been together for eight years.
I really fancy my partner but she often gets agitated when I make a move on her.
She has admitted she doesn’t like being nude in front of me after being in a previous abusive relationship and she has issues with sex because of the memories of being beaten by her ex.
I always make the first move but when I try to be intimate with her, she always mentions the dog in our room. She complains it’s unkind when I remove it. We then end up having an argument. She also accuses me of snogging another woman.
I think she is just coming up with excuses, or trying to start a fight so she doesn’t have to have sex with me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Find time to talk to her when you’re not in bed and tell her you are worried about the lack of sex.
Intimacy plays a huge role in relationships so it’s understandable that this is getting you down.
Explain this is becoming a serious issue and that you’re worried about the impact it’s having on your relationship.
The legacy of domestic abuse can be huge. Suggest to your wife that counselling may help. Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).
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