My mother-in-law thinks I’m ugly but constantly says my husband’s handsome – she even hates my kids being compared to me
A HURT woman has claimed that her mother-in-law “thinks she’s ugly”… and has never once complimented her.
The wife even believes that her husband’s mum finds it “uncomfortable” if people say her grandchildren look like their mum rather than their dad (her son).
The woman admits that “there are more important things than looks” but is struggling to wrap her head around her mother-in-law not finding her attractive.
She took to online forum Mumsnet in search of advice.
“My mother-in-law has never outright said I am ugly, but she has never paid me any compliment on my appearance either,” she penned.
“Conversely, she will constantly say how handsome her son (my husband) is and how beautiful her daughter is.
“I’m starting to believe she thinks I am not attractive at all and not good enough for her son.”
According to the wife, she always pays her mother-in-law a compliment whenever she sees her.
“So, she has plenty of opportunities to say something nice about me in return but never has,” she explained.
“I don’t want it to bother me but it does.
“She has complimented my daughters saying how pretty they are, but whenever someone says my son looks like me, she looks uncomfortable and doesn’t comment.
“Yes, I probably do have some self esteem issues and I guess that’s exactly why her silence sounds so deafening.
“If I was confident, I probably wouldn’t give it a second thought – but I do worry about how I am perceived.”
People were quick to ask the mum if she thought her mother-in-law was “jealous” of her and assured that it’s “not unusual to want to be accepted into your husband’s family”.
A psychological study in 2008 found that 60% of women experienced long-term unhappiness and stress due to their relationship with their mother-in-law.
What’s more, two-thirds of wives believed that their husband’s mother frequently exhibited jealous, maternal love towards their son.
7 Signs You have an Overbearing Mother-in-law
An overbearing mother-in-law is someone who craves control and dominance, according to Choosing Therapy
The experts put together 7 warning signs to look out for…
- She’s Always Around
“An overbearing mother-in-law may show up unannounced or invite herself to gatherings and activities,” they said. - She Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
“She may do this by outright denying your requests or more subtly, in a way that makes you feel bad or guilty,” the experts said. “She may do things that she doesn’t have the authority to do, such as snooping in your email.” - She’s Judgmental
“An overbearing mother-in-law will judge your every move and take every opportunity to criticise you,” the experts explained. “Behaviours as simple as an eye roll or deep sigh can be taken as signs of her disapproval.” - She Insists That She’s Always Right
“A mother-in-law with this mentality will insist that she is always right and that you should follow her advice without question,” they added. - She Pressures You to Do What She Wants
“You might find that your overbearing mother-in-law regularly uses the word ‘should’ when offering suggestions,” the experts warned. - “I Do This Because I Care”
“To justify her domineering and arrogant behaviour, a mother-in-law may explain that she acts in this way because she cares about you and your family,” according to the experts. - She Needs to Be the Centre of Attention
“An overbearing mother-in-law may try to steal centre stage whenever possible,” the experts said. “In conversation, she might disregard topics that aren’t about her and steer the conversation back to herself.”
Despite these stats, a whopping 80% of people argued that the hurt wife posting on Mumsnet was being unreasonable.
“Why on earth do you care what your mother-in-law thinks?” one critic asked.
“You do not need her validation.”
“My mother-in-law never pays me compliments,” another said.
“Never in a million years did I conclude that it’s because I’m ugly.
“I think you’re way overthinking this.
“Why do you need her validation anyway?”