I wish my husband would prioritise me sometimes but his daughter needs him more
DEAR DEIDRE: IF my husband’s daughter demands his time and attention, he cancels our plans at the drop of a hat.
This is driving me crazy, and I wish he would occasionally make me a priority.
I am 41 and my husband is 42.
We are both divorced and have been together for eight years, married for three.
My husband has a ten-year-old daughter.
She is the apple of his eye and she knows it.
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We often have to cancel our plans because she will message asking if she can visit.
I have cancelled weekend city breaks, festivals and concerts to accommodate her, usually losing money in the process.
We have his daughter every weekend and most of the school holidays, so it isn’t as if they don’t see each other.
I have a good relationship with her and don’t begrudge her being here but there is a limit.
Am I wrong for wanting to be a priority sometimes?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: No. While he comes as a package complete with his daughter, there are times when you should come first.
Tell him how hurt you are when he cancels your plans.
Say that you know he is a good father but once in a while would like to feel valued.
He may feel guilty about splitting up with his daughter’s mum and compensates by dropping everything for her.
My support pack on step-families explains more.