I refuse to hang out with my friends – they only talk about babies and husbands, it’s boring and no, I’m not jealous
A WOMAN has revealed she has been invited on a girls trip, but has declined because she thinks her friends are “boring”.
The 27 year old is one of eight friends in the group, who have known each other for over 10 years, since school.
They don’t all live near one another, but “meet up a couple of times a year for a weekend” away.
She said it “used to be a weekend of good food, drinks, hot tub etc”.
But as everyone’s lives have changed, and different milestones have been reached, she no longer feels she connects with her friends.
Taking to the Reddit thread titled Am I The A**hole, she asked: “For being truthful with my friends, when telling them I won’t go on a weekend away because I don’t want to talk about marriage / babies for three days?”
The poster explained how she is “content” with her current life, albeit she is “single but dating”, and doesn’t know if she would like to have children.
Around five of the friends in the group are “either married or in long-term relationships”, and two of the five have a baby or are pregnant.
She explained how she has plans to see her friends later in the year for various events – weddings, baby events, birthdays etc, but doesn’t want to spend a weekend away with them. She said: “I didn’t originally provide a reason.
“When queried, in person by my friend, who is pregnant – I told her the truth.
“I am not going because it’s a massive financial expense, for three days where we only talk about people’s upcoming engagements/weddings/babies.
“I have a lot going on, but I feel a lot of my friends do not show an interest unless I talk about someone I’m dating.
“I also last time, listened to one of my friends talk about her breastfeeding plans, with vengeance, for over an hour. She is not pregnant or trying.
“Truthfully it’s boring, and it feels dismissive.”
She added how it seems like a “really expensive way to feel bad” about herself.
Whilst admitting she is “thrilled” for her friends who are all living the lives they want, she feels it’s “not the weekend for her”.
The post continued: “Meaning it feels like the group has two distinct life stages, I’m in the minority and it focuses on one stage.”
After explaining how she felt, one of the friends said she felt hurt and accused the woman of “not being excited for her or the other friends”.
The Reddit post gained hundreds of comments, one person replied: “I have the same problem, lol. I’m 48, single with no kids, and I just cannot relate with people my age.
I wouldn’t want to spend a lot of money to spend three days with a group that had such dis-similar interests.
Redditor
“Whenever I find myself in a situation where it’s my age women, it’s all about marriage, kids and school, etc.”
Another said: “NTA. We all change as we get older. You naturally drift apart from some friends, especially if their lifestyle changes dramatically (think married with children, in particular).
“And I don’t think it was wrong to be truthful when your friend asked you why you wouldn’t go.”
A third wrote: “NTA and what you are experiencing at 27 is what a lot of the rest of us have also experienced. Lives change and all of a sudden, some of our friends don’t have much in common with us anymore.
“I’ve casually drifted from friends because all they could talk about was diapers or insist on bringing their kid to an outing. That’s just not my thing.”
Someone else agreed with the majority: “NTA. You went about this very diplomatically. You’re happy for them, but, since you’re not at the same stage, feigning excitement over someone’s breast milk is a bit much. I think she heard what you said but didn’t really listen.”
One mother offered an interesting perspective: “NTA. I am a mom and those friends sound exhausting.
“We complain about kids, but we also know how to have a girls night out and just enjoy being kid/spouse free for the night.
“It sounds like you guys are at different points in your life, and the friendship has run its natural course, at least for the physical get togethers. Maybe still salvageable for the text message updates throughout the months.”
The original poster added an update to her post, explaining how she does “show an interest in their weddings, engagements, babies and baby plans. I am excited for them, I text about it, I ask for updates, I go to AND help plan events for these things”.
The “issue” she has is how the women will spend three days talking about the same topic she isn’t interested in.
She concluded: “Finally – some comments about me being jealous, hating myself/my life etc.
“To confirm dear strangers on the internet, I am content – thank you for the concern though.”
5 Friendship facts
How many friends do you have, and how would you describe your relationships?
- People make hundreds of friends in their lifetime, but only 1 in 12 friendships will last.
- According to research, the average person currently has three to five very close friends, 10 to 15 people in their circle.
- People usually have no more than two “best-friends” at one time.
- Friendships and relationships are the number one key indicator of joy and happiness according to one of the longest-running studies on human happiness
- Data from 148 studies have shown that people with stronger social connections are 50% more likely to survive!