How to rock your lover’s world & have best sex of your life with 25 tips… from writing love cheques to kissing eyelids
WHEN it comes to pleasing your lover, sex coach Rebecca Dakin knows more than most.
Now she hopes to help Sun on Sunday readers with her guide to bedroom bliss.
The former high-class escort, 48, said: “You need to be in tune with your partner, be tactile, inquisitive and have a genuine desire to please and be pleased.
“During my decade as an escort, the most pleasures I gave men were based on very basic intimacy.”
The former international call girl now teaches women and couples how to keep things sizzling.
And the new edition of her 2016 guide The Great British Sexpert’s 101 Sex Tips aims to help readers have the best sex of their lives.
She said: “These tips and techniques will equip you with the basics from which true intimacy – and therefore great sex – can grow.”
Today Rebecca shares with Sarah Arnold her 25 tips to rock your lover’s world.
1. Be open to experimentation. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to do things.
It’s about trying things and wanting to give pleasure.
Let go of that fear of doing things wrong and you will really learn what your partner likes.
2. Find their erogenous zones. Don’t just think you can dive into licking behind his knee and he will go wild.
Erogenous zones are used to build anticipation.
Start by laying your lover on their back and deep French kissing them before starting your journey of exploration of their body.
Pay close attention to a response such as a shudder or moving towards you as much as their moans and groans.
3. See their body as a “dot to dot”. Kiss, lick and caress the areas in between each dot, from head to toe.
Sex should be a whole body experience.
Work from one zone to another.
Listen for short intakes of breath, biting of the bottom lip and tilting the head back, which signal pleasure zones.
4. Kiss their eyelids and gently suck them. Feathering light kisses all over their face while you are holding their head or face can be a highly erotic and intimate act.
5. Talk dirty. Tell him explicitly what you want him to do, with a devilish smile playing on your lips to get him in the mood.
6. Try writing out some love cheques. A hand-made notebook in the style of a cheque book can bring spontaneity when you least expect it.
The idea is that he can cash in when he is in the mood. For example, one could be dressing up in suspenders.
7. Kissing and nibbling the back can be very erotic. Try using your boobs to press into his back at the same time.
Lightly use your nails to scrape up and down or try trailing your hair or a feather down him.
8. Seduce your partner as they come home from work.
When they step in the door, don’t speak, just deep French kiss.
Lead them silently to your bedroom or rip their clothes off there and then.
9. Massage their scalp. Start off by putting both your hands on your partner’s head when you are kissing, to pull them deeper into you, and as you carry on kissing, use your fingertips with firm pressure to circulate their scalp.
10. Penetrate your tongue through their closed lips. Our lips have hundreds of nerve endings in them.
11. Lick their ears. You can gently use your tongue to trace the outline of their ear and their ear hole.
It can be deeply sensual.
12. Trace your tongue and suck down their neck. Kiss your partner and form suction with your mouth.
You want to get to the point where you don’t leave a mark.
13. Have a bubble bath together. Water and bubbles can help your hands glide over each other more easily.
Bathing each other is very erotic. Consider using a soapy sponge.
14. Use scented lotion or oil. Let them rub it in and massage you with it.
15. Breathe and groan into their ear. Make the sounds of pleasure that you make when you are thinking of enjoying your favourite ice cream.
16. Leave naughty notes in the house or their work clothes. This builds up excitement and anticipation.
Write down exactly what you want them to do and place it in their bag, jacket or trousers so they find it at work.
17. Get them fantasising about you. If you are away for the night, put a naughty note by the side of the bed.
18. Sext each other. If you are in a trusting partnership, text sex is a great way to get your partner in the mood.
Start teasing them throughout the day by saying what you are going to do with them when they get home.
This way you build excitement and anticipation.
19. Nibble their ears. Start with their ear lobes and then lick behind the ear — this can be highly erotic.
20. Tell them how sexy you find them. Talk about something that you are doing or want to do that reminds you of them.
For example: “I’ve just bought some sexy lace undies — and I’m thinking of what I can do to you later.”
21. Get confident in your own skin. Feeling comfortable naked is important if you want to enjoy sex and really connect with your lover.
Do whatever it takes to achieve this.
I’ve learned that men don’t care what size or shape you are, they care whether you are confident with how you look — it is one of the biggest turn-ons.
22. Don’t turn out the lights. Turning them off or diving under the covers can be a big turn-off.
If you are really self- conscious, dim them a little — but do keep them on.
23. Say your partner’s name during sex. It really makes things more intimate.
Just make sure you get their name right.
But do not do it if you have recently broken up with someone in case the wrong name slips out.
24. Eat chocolate. Research has shown that women who eat chocolate every day have higher libidos than those who don’t.
25. Go to a sex shop together. Staff have seen it all before and won’t judge.
Try on outfits and lingerie and show your partner through the changing room curtain — ask them which one they like best.
- The Great British Sexpert’s 101 Sex Tips is available at thegreatbritishsexpert.co.uk.