We in Telegram
Add news
March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010
August 2010
September 2010 October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019 March 2019 April 2019 May 2019 June 2019 July 2019 August 2019 September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 June 2020 July 2020 August 2020 September 2020 October 2020 November 2020 December 2020 January 2021 February 2021 March 2021 April 2021 May 2021 June 2021 July 2021 August 2021 September 2021 October 2021 November 2021 December 2021 January 2022 February 2022 March 2022 April 2022 May 2022 June 2022 July 2022 August 2022 September 2022 October 2022 November 2022 December 2022 January 2023 February 2023 March 2023 April 2023 May 2023 June 2023 July 2023 August 2023 September 2023 October 2023 November 2023 December 2023 January 2024 February 2024 March 2024 April 2024 May 2024
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
News Every Day |

I have intense political debates with my husband. I hate that they make us feel disconnected.

selfie of katie matthews and her husband
The author, left, and her husband often engage in heated political debates
  • My husband and I are on the same page on just about everything except politics.
  • Our debates can make us feel worlds apart.
  • Our debates have made me realize how much I equate being agreeable with being accepted and loved.

My husband has been my best friend for 20 years.

We met and married young, and throughout our 13-year marriage, we've been on the same page on just about everything — from finances to parenting to which show to binge next. We've always been able to talk about anything, and we treasure our deep conversations.

But when it comes to politics, our debates can feel like they are tearing us apart.

We're from two different worlds with ever-evolving views

Born and raised in the UK, my husband moved to my hometown in Alabama after living in Australia for six years. I've lived in Alabama all my life, and our varied life experiences leave us with a lot to talk about. We aren't polar opposites by any stretch, but our differences are enough to create some heated debates — usually rooted in our different experiences.

We can't help but talk about politics often. After all, we've always talked about everything. It's instinctual to ask each other what we thought of the day's headlines. But we've had enough contentious debates by now that we are more choosey about what we bring up and when.

Since we have young kids, finding the right time to discuss politics is hard. We don't normally have to hide our conversations from them, but when it comes to politics, I know the kids can feel our temperatures rise even while we try to keep our cool. Of course, we reassure them that this is all OK. We want them to grow up knowing that differences of opinion shouldn't be feared and even heated debates are healthy.

But I think I, more so than my husband, still need to work on believing that myself.

Our debates have made me realize how much I equate being agreeable with being accepted and loved. I haven't had to challenge this much in our marriage since we are rarely on either side of anything. I know that disagreeing with him on political issues isn't a threat to our relationship, but sometimes, it feels that way. It sometimes feels like we barely know each other, and it can leave me unsure of where we stand.

It helps us to remember that we aren't reduced to our political perspectives

I don't think we are solely to blame for feeling so disconnected over political differences. The divisive US political landscape certainly plays a role. It can feel like if you're one degree on the other side, you are all the way wrong. When we get entrenched in our positions, I catch myself believing it about my husband — even though I know it's not true.

But when we come down from those intense debates, we remember that our identities are not reduced to our political perspectives. Our connection does not depend on where we fall along the political spectrum.

And when we take the time to understand where the other is coming from, we realize the core characteristics we love and trust in each other drive our differing political views.

When we can keep that in mind, listening to each other helps refine our opinions. While I might agree that there's not much point in trying to change a stranger's politics over the internet, I do think open and honest debates with those closest to us whom we love and trust have the ability to be productive, as intense as they can be. He and I have certainly shifted our own views in light of the other's.

What does not serve us, though, is getting at each other's throats about things we have little actual control over, so we are working on doing that less. It's easier said than done.

The key for us, I think, is trusting in the strength of our connection. I'm learning that disagreement doesn't necessarily equal disconnection, as much as it can feel like it does. And I'm becoming more comfortable with it being part of our relationship.

I'm more convinced now than ever that I don't need someone who thinks exactly like me. Sharing unity doesn't require conformity. I just want someone who loves, respects, and listens to me as I do him.

And that's something we've always done well.

Read the original article on Business Insider
Пятёрочка

«Пятёрочка» выяснила, где в России больше всего любят винегрет

AML check crypto

LIV Golf’s Sergio Garcia misses out on U.S. Open spot, but still has chance to play

Precision in Motion: Exploring Baltic Bearing Company-Riga

UFC plans to be ‘flexible’ in next broadcast rights deal, including potential end to traditional PPV

Ria.city






Read also

Man United receive major boost in pursuit of Premier League defender

Best CD rates today: Lock in leading APYs topping 5% with no or low minimums — May 22, 2024

I’m sick of the rain & my toddler’s acting up – I begged mums for the best free activities & they came up with the goods

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on Today24.pro

News Every Day

Precision in Motion: Exploring Baltic Bearing Company-Riga

Today24.pro — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here


News Every Day

LIV Golf’s Sergio Garcia misses out on U.S. Open spot, but still has chance to play



Sports today


Новости тенниса
ATP

Даниил Медведев идет третьим в чемпионской гонке ATP, Андрей Рублев — пятый



Спорт в России и мире
Москва

Бонгонда: стадион и база «Спартака» — мои любимые места в Москве



All sports news today





Sports in Russia today

Москва

Бонгонда: стадион и база «Спартака» — мои любимые места в Москве


Новости России

Game News

Five new Steam games you probably missed (May 20, 2024)


Russian.city


Москва

Воскресшего Иисуса могут дополнительно установить в церквях, вместо черепа.


Губернаторы России
Петербург

В Санкт-Петербург прошел ХIХ Санкт-Петербургский международный книжный салон


Руководитель Рособрнадзора Музаев рассказал, как пересдать ЕГЭ в 2024 году

Шапки женские вязаные на Wildberries, 2024 — новый цвет от 392 руб. (модель 466)

В Москве не уверены в необходимости запрещать самокатчикам ездить по тротуарам

«СВЯТОЙ ЛЕНИН» помогает В.В. Путину улучшить либо отменить налоги в обществе.


В ЦТК концерт, посвященный юбилею Алсу Альметовой

Пианист Мацуев о Станковиче в "Спартаке": опять тонко, опять иностранец

Создание Сайтов. Создание веб сайта. Создание сайта html. Создание сайтов цена. Создание и продвижение сайтов. Создание сайта с нуля. Создание интернет сайта.

Концерт «Вселенная Миядзаки» - это настоящий праздник


Касаткина, Андреева и Кудерметова — в тройке лидеров в борьбе за звание лучшей теннисистки

Сумасшедший матч «Реала», Медведев опустился в рейтинге ATP. Главное к утру

Теннисист Медведев потеряет место в рейтинге ATP

Теннисиста Медведева выбили из топ-4 ATP



Lipatov Sound заявил о выходе нового трека “Red City”

V Общероссийская конференция «Устойчивое развитие этнокультурного сектора» представит калейдоскоп успешных практик в сфере социального проектирования

«СВЯТОЙ ЛЕНИН» УЛУЧШАЕТ ЗАКОНЫ, управляет патентами и улучшает командное планирование в целях учёта интереса всего народа.

Воскресшего Иисуса могут дополнительно установить в церквях, вместо черепа.


«Пятёрочка» выяснила, где в России больше всего любят винегрет

"Спартак" обыграл "Рубин" со счетом 3:1

Путин назвал президента Раиси надежным партнером России

Футболисты ФК «Динамо Пушкино» заняли второе место в межрегиональном турнире Laffy Cup 2024


Имам призвал выяснить, влияет ли ношение никаба на рост риска терроризма

Молодежь из Молдавии посетила Москву в рамках проекта НКО «Узнай Россию»

В Саратове открылся 37-й Собиновский музыкальный фестиваль



Путин в России и мире






Персональные новости Russian.city
Виктор Цой

Цой жил: съемки звезды «Кино» и эксперименты Билли Айлиш



News Every Day

Precision in Motion: Exploring Baltic Bearing Company-Riga




Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости

Персональные новости