My sister is forcing her wedding guests to wear the same dress – she told me not to come when I had a special request
A VERY particular bride has demanded all her female wedding guests — not just her bridesmaids — wear the same dress on her big day.
And when her sister asked for her special need to be accommodated at the strictly-planned-out nuptials, she was told to fall in line or not come at all.
The 18-year-old sister vented about the 21-year-old bride on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.
She said her sister had already prepared the cake, bridal gown, and flowers when she sat her and their other sisters down to show them their outfits.
“They were cute flowy pink gowns with lace around the neck area,” Redditor u/cheesyfrie said.
“We all loved them but I had a problem, they were short-sleeved.
“Now her wedding is in the summer so short sleeves are kind of a must-have, but I have scars all down my arms and do not want them on show at the wedding.
“I pulled her aside and asked if I could get a dress with sleeves or if I could wear sleeved gloves.”
Cheesy Frie said she isn’t a bridesmaid but her sister wants all the women on their side of the family to be matching.
She was distressed when her sister refused to allow her to wear sleeves or a different dress despite expressing how uncomfortable she felt showing her scars.
“She asked if I could just put makeup on my arms but I have keloid scars and makeup won’t cover them at all,” the Redditor continued.
“She then said if I wasn’t going to cooperate I just shouldn’t come.
“She told my family I was being difficult and didn’t want to obey the dress code because I wanted to be ‘different.’
“She sent out her invites a few weeks ago and messaged me asking why I haven’t confirmed that I’m going.
“I said that I was still not comfortable being in short sleeves and that I would just not attend since I didn’t want to ruin her perfect day but dressing differently.
“She complained saying that she had already bought the dresses and I said I’ll give her the money for mine but she didn’t listen.
“I know I probably sound selfish and I shouldn’t let my own issues be a priority over my sister’s wedding but I don’t like being in short sleeves and there’s no other way to work around it.”
NO WAY, GIRL
A flood of responses to the post attempted to reassure the woman that she wasn’t being unreasonable.
“You came up with a perfect solution with the gloves,” one person wrote.
“Her not accepting it because of some ridiculous perfectionist aesthetic that no one will care about is absurd.
“She’d rather have things look a certain way (again, that no one will notice except her) than have her sister at her wedding.
“She’s making a sh***y choice. I’m sorry it’s hurting you.”
How to opt out of the wedding party
Hitched is an online platform that helps couples plan everything from their engagement to honeymoons.
According to their former Deputy Editor Rima Barakeh, there is no legal obligation to be a bridesmaid or maid of honour.
She shared several tips for politely declining:
- Be clear with your reason e.g. you don’t have the money, time, or have drifted apart
- Be kind and sympathetic
- Volunteer to help with a different role
“Don’t give it a cent for the dress it bought,” another said.
“You were uninvited, please make sure every relative who asks is told the truth, your sister uninvited you because her photos of her first wedding are more important than your comfort.”
“You may have a good reason not to want to wear short sleeves, but really, that’s almost beside the point,” a third chimed in.
“People can have whatever rules they want for their wedding, but it works both ways — people aren’t obligated to attend if they don’t like the rules.
“Too many people think they can just use people as props.”
According to Brides, there are several ways to make mismatched bridesmaid dresses look stylish.
These include wearing the same dress in different colors and different dress styles in the same color.
They recommend not varying too many features to avoid having a “confused-looking” bridal party.
