Harriette Cole: She met this man and pushed everyone else away
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling a bit lost and hurt lately because my sister, who used to be my closest friend, seems to have disappeared since getting into a relationship with her new boyfriend.
She’s been spending all of her time with him, leaving little room for our sisterly bond. I am not the only one who feels this way; she has also pushed away all of her friends as well.
We used to hang out just about every day, but now it feels like I barely see her. She cancels plans with me at the last minute or brushes off my invitations with excuses about being too busy or tired.
It’s not just the lack of time together that’s bothering me; it’s also the feeling of being pushed aside and replaced.
I understand that relationships are important and that she’s probably caught up in the excitement of this new romance, but I miss the connection we used to have.
How can I express my feelings to her without coming across as jealous or resentful of her relationship? I want to support her happiness but also regain some of the closeness we’ve lost.
— Rejected
DEAR REJECTED: This may be the honeymoon period, where your sister is totally swept up in this new partner. Hopefully she will settle down soon and choose to spend time with you again.
If you feel like you cannot wait for that day, you may want to tell her that you are happy she has found someone she likes so much, but you are concerned that she is willing to give up the rest of her life in order to be with him. You can ask her to carve out just a little bit of time for her loved ones, including you and her other friends.
Tell her that you hope she will not choose to cut herself off completely from the rest of her life, because you and the others miss her and believe that you, too, are important to her. Plead with her, saying that it is possible to enjoy this man and her friends at the same time.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am responding to “Fur Best Friend,” the person who was agonizing over whether to put down their dog because he was suffering, but wanting to hold onto him longer.
Something to consider: As an unabashed dog lover who has gone through several sad goodbyes with my pets, I recommend the Jack McAfghan pet-loss series available on Amazon. This will not bring back one’s beloved pet, but it may ease the pain a bit. You can also follow him on Facebook.
I send my heartfelt condolences to this writer. I know it hurts, but please do what’s best for your dog. I’ll keep them both in my thoughts.
— Another Dog Lover
DEAR ANOTHER DOG LOVER: Thank you for this recommendation. For all who are suffering with how to deal with a pet’s passing, know that many hearts are linking with yours at this moment. It’s tough to lose a pet, no matter the circumstances.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.