I make £50k cleaning for A-listers & they’re filthy – from stained sheets & grotty body hair to the grimmest celeb loos
EVER wondered what really goes on behind those huge mansion doors of the rich and famous?
Well no-one knows better than the cleaners who keep their pads sparkling – who witness everything from marital rows to stomach-churning personal habits.
Our secret cleaner has scrubbed her way through the homes of footballers, A-List actresses and soap stars during her 25-year career and here, she lifts the (toilet) lid on their dirtiest household secrets…but can you guess who she’s talking about?
Spare room riddle
As a cleaner, I see exactly how someone’s relationship is functioning – the spare bedroom was often used in the footballer’s house.
And who can blame his wife for booting him into the spare room, given he was non too subtle about his affairs.
Meanwhile, every one of my clients had sex toys – yes of course I’d peep in bedside drawers.
I didn’t need to snoop with one A-lister who was on my books – when she was sent sex toys in the post it was my job to open them.
‘I’ve seen it all!’
From used condoms left on the floor to a forest of pubic hair in the bathtub and stained sheets, I’ve seen it all in my job.
And while celebrities on the whole try their best to be clean – probably because they’d be horrified if someone like me ever spoke out – when they have dirty marks in the toilet, they wouldn’t dream of getting out the bleach.
Worse still, I once cleaned for a footballer who originated from a country with drainage problems where it’s customary to chuck the used toilet roll in a bin beside the loo.
Even with the more advanced British drainage system they couldn’t shake off the habit and the first time I witnessed it I nearly threw up in the bathroom because the stench was so grim.
Breast foot forward
The soap star I cleaned for had very specific jobs for my to-do list.
Although she’s been in the business for 20 years and has multiple trophies to her name, she keeps them locked away in a cupboard because she can’t bear a speck of dust settling on them.
Instead, I’d dust her vast collection of ashtrays and boob-shaped ornaments – not many cleaners can say they’ve spent the entire day polishing breasts!
Drooling over designer clobber
I’ve cleaned out the wardrobes of both soap stars and actresses and I’d drool over their designer clothes, handbags and shoes.
One of them had an entire room devoted to shoes and bags and once I tried to squeeze my size seven feet into her Louboutins but to no avail – they were absolutely tiny.
I couldn’t fit my toes in, let alone the rest of my foot.
She also had around 30 white identical T-shirts, all neatly folded and yet I never saw her wear one, she was happy padding around in her yoga gear at home.
Crystal curse fears
I’m not into woo-woo but one female Hollywood star I used to clean for has a huge collection of crystals, dotted around the house, and I wasn’t allowed anywhere near them in case I rubbed them with negative energy.
So when I accidentally knocked one off a table I thought I’d cursed her career – but she’s still on screen so I think it’s a load of tosh.
She was incredibly exacting, with all the mugs having to be placed in the cupboard with their handles at 45 degrees, and to the right.
And she was so meticulous she couldn’t bear to have anything left on her expensive worktops – cereals and pastas were decanted into jars and kept in a larder, so I was the one who put labels on the bottom so I knew when to throw them out.
Sideways glances
All of my visits to the A-lister were made through her PA who told me exactly which section of the house I should focus on that day.
She’d also tell me if the actress wasn’t in the mood to see me and would tell me to make sure I kept out of a certain area of the house, or not to look at her if I did come across her.
As the house was enormous with five huge bedrooms, all ensuite – that wasn’t tricky.
Five filthy places in your home you never think to clean
WE'VE all been guilty of forgetting to scrub the oven or neglecting that dirty shower drain, but there are some places around the house you've never even thought to clean - and definitely need to. Here, cleaning expert 'Queen of Clean' Lynsey Crombie shares some of the biggest culprits for germs - and the best ways to clean them...
- Your pillow, in six months, doubles in weight due to dirt, sweat and filth. Your dead skin from your head, the sweat from your head and neck, all goes in there. The best advice though is to buy pillow protectors and wash them every week.
- Toothbrush holders are a haven for grime. Get a denture tablet and drop that in once a week, fill it up with water, and leave it to clean itself. They effectively kill off the germs. Mouthwash works well too.
- Shower curtains can also become a major hotbed of germs, and can get extremely mouldy in a short space of time.When you’ve finished your shower, pull it so it’s fully out and let it dry with a window open if you can. If it has got mould on it, spray it with white vinegar and rinse it out.
- The TV remote can quickly become infested with bacteria as a result of sweat, hair residue and even food particles. Spray it with Dettol, or use a cotton bud to get all around the buttons and just use soapy water.
- We’re constantly touching them, so it’s not surprising light switches are also germ magnets. Disinfectant spray works, but never spray the light switch directly – spray the cloth and then apply that weekly.
Airing dirty laundry
Hollywood stars are very particular about every cleaning product I’m allowed to use – it has to be organic and vegan to save the planet – but the starlet I clean for never uses the same towel twice and her crisp white sheets get changed every other day, which is a tad ironic.
Thankfully the washing of the sheets was outsourced to a professional laundry service.
And those freshly washed towels had to be precisely placed in her bathroom, she’d have two on each rail of her heated rack – with a hand’s width between them.
And while she was neat her husband always left stubble in his sink – of course they had two sinks.
WAGs aren’t much better on the cleanliness side.
One shaved instead of waxing and she didn’t rinse the bath – that was my job.
No room for error
Cleaning for celebrities is in some ways far easier than for ‘normal’ people or hotels.
You’re in a beautiful place with stunning furniture and there’s usually a team of people around you.
For example chefs or other cleaners so it can be quite gossipy and fun.
And they’re often away on holiday or for work, leaving you with little to do, and the pay can be very good – £50,000 if you manage to get in with an A Lister.
That means there’s no room for mistakes though, and dusting a table that cost £200,000 is terrifying.
