Trump deserves exactly what his pathetic fixer got

Well, we’re now a few days into Donald Trump’s election fraud trial in New York City, and we are already learning a lot. Unfortunately, none of it is very surprising.

For instance, it looks like our media has settled into calling it a “hush money” trial, even if it most assuredly is a helluva lot more than that.

In raw, legal terms, Trump is charged with violating New York Election Law, which prohibits conspiracies to promote a candidate’s election through unlawful means, and/or concealing a crime by falsifying business records.

Thus, fraud.

But hushhhh money … flows from the lips like a whisper. I mean, who cares if this was actually Ground Zero for Trump’s attempt to hide a gruesome chapter of his ugly life from the public to advance his noxious political career by knowingly and illegally using campaign money to do it.

Hush money … Lovely.

Actually … I did learn one thing that surprised me: Did you know that if the America-attacking, racist degenerate were to go actually be sent to jail for continuing to violate the gag order that has been imposed on him in this trial, the Secret Service WE PAY FOR will go along with him?

Great, eh?

So while the rest of the crooks like Trump’s Chief Financial Officer Alan Weisselberg are serving hard time in New York’s notorious Rikers Island prison, Trump would have enough armed guards protecting him to start a war.

No worries, none of that is going to happen, but it does kind of change what it would look like for the lifetime crook if he ever did end up where he most certainly belongs — I mean, besides hell.

As this trial has unfolded, it has taken absolutely no time at all to have it confirmed that the two-timing, rancid fascist can’t control his bowels. Anybody who has followed Trump literally and/or figuratively over the course of his foul life knows that his terrible odor is his wilting calling card. It has followed him around like a brown, odious fog for decades.

Picture Charlie Brown’s Pigpen without any of the charm.

The gruesome man’s diet consists of inhaling fast-food pollutants, and will be the thing that most assuredly brings it all to an end for him, just not fast enough for anybody hankering for a super-sized portion of justice served extra cold.

Basically, the fact that Trump is completely full of shit has been confirmed yet again.

We have also learned to absolutely nobody’s surprise that this overflowing sack of orange dirt has little-to-no energy, and is prone to doze off at any moment. If nothing else this should quiet the blabber we continually hear that both candidates for the presidency of the United States are basically the same old men.

While the fat, orange guy snores in court, the tall, trim guy fills each and every day with herculean efforts to save the world from itself, while bench-pressing our ridiculous bureaucracy into action by turning the key and revving up programs that are good for all Americans.

Seriously, Biden never stops working on behalf of the American public. He does take a break to attend church each week, which the phony Christians who support the farting cheater hold their noses and cover their eyes to avoid acknowledging at all costs.

The study in contrast has never been greater, but don’t hold your breath while the press goes out of its way to tell us they are the same old guys with different ideas for our country.

It also took no time at all to introduce Trump’s Pecker.

No, not that one, David Pecker, the one-time CEO of American Media Inc., who became wildly rich by carpet-bombing the world with tabloid trash, most infamously from the National Enquirer.

These two dirt balls were fast friends, of course, which I see is being reported as a “mutually beneficial relationship.” Hitler and Goebbels also had a “mutually beneficial relationship.”

Pecker essentially agreed to be Trump’s PR man during his candidacy, because Trump always coveted a Pecker that actually worked for him ...

Pecker agreed to stuff his tabloids with positive, made-up news about Trump, while destroying his opponents with anything he could get his dirty hands on. Most important, they would be keeping a close eye out for any negative stories about the traitor trash. Those are the stories they would “catch and kill” so that nobody would ever see them.

There was a story they bought and killed from Trump’s doorman about a love child Trump allegedly fathered, and another from Playboy model, Karen McDougal, who had an alleged 10-month affair with the orange pervert during a time period that overlapped with his collision with the adult film star, Stormy Daniels, and the pregnancy of his third wife, Melania.

Pecker paid a whopping $150,000 to McDougal to keep that one quiet.

When asked why he spent all this money on behalf of his morally busted friend, Pecker told the court “because of the potential embarrassments it would have to the campaign and Mr. Trump.”

Forget all the good he could have done for America by simply acting with just the minimum amount of decency.

We learned again that Pecker worked most closely with Trump’s low-grade lawyer and “fixer,” Michael Cohen, to make sure their polluted stream kept oozing through the money-washing sewer system of the Republican National Committee.

Cohen’s a completely reprehensible guy, who did atrocious things while faithfully serving Trump for 12 years before serving three years in prison for the honor. Trump, of course, hung the stiff out to dry, by saying he barely knew him, which is what boss-thugs are allowed to get away with in America.

Now Cohen is out for revenge, and by the looks of it, is doing everything in his power to make sure he doesn't get it, by barfing all over social media during this trial.

These two guys can never shut up and deserve each other, which is why at the minimum Trump deserves exactly what his pathetic fixer got.

I just don’t see that happening.

I have pretty much given up all hope that Trump will see the inside of a jail cell before the election, and maybe at all. That coincided with the long, quiet months following the appointment of the pathetic Merrick Garland to Attorney General.

If attacking our country on national TV, doing nothing about it for three hours, and trying to throw out America’s vote to overturn an election couldn’t get a rise out of our country’s most powerful law enforcement office, than nothing would.

The guy literally had to be led around by the nose by a high-powered congressional committee to show any interest in picking up Trump’s horrible scent, which we’ve already established stinks to high heaven.

I loathe that man with everything that is inside me, but he has successfully further lowered my expectations of America’s painfully laughable “justice” system.

So I say we all just gather ‘round, pour a cocktail, and enjoy the stinking man’s daily humiliation for however long this trial lasts. There won’t be many surprises, only confirmation of what a disgusting, sub-human piece of garbage he has always been.

That's most likely the best we're going to get until the poison that another clown, Ronald McDonald, has been serving The McDonald finally takes him away for good ...

D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. Follow @EarlofEnough and on his website.