Loot Recap: Let’s Go to the Mall!
Seeing Molly release some tension and finally get some at the hands of live-action Despicable Me star Benjamin Bratt was beyond satisfying. For Molly. For Benjamin Bratt. For all of us. Not only did Molly need some, but she deserved some. But I can’t say I wasn’t pleased to see that instead of having Molly sow her wild oats for a while, Loot brought its most charming romance back into focus in its latest episode: Molly and Arthur are so into each other, and I am so into them. They even make discussing the sewage processes on a megayacht adorably flirty — a true feat. Protect them at all costs.
In season one, these romantic feelings were pretty one-sided. There was chemistry and some interest from both parties, but mostly we were tracking Arthur coming to terms with his crush on his billionaire boss. Our lovesick little accountant was just about to profess his love to Molly in Corsica after her “burn the billionaire class down” speech when Molly’s ex, John, flew in (literally) and ruined everything. Molly and John ended up getting drunk and sleeping together, and Arthur shoved those feelings way back down, believing Molly was uninterested. But that is not the end of their story, friends — it is just the beginning!
It’s Molly’s birthday, and if you recall, her last birthday was the day she learned John was cheating on her, and she demanded a divorce by way of a public meltdown. It was also the day he gifted her a megayacht. This year, Molly’s simply trying to get through the day. (Nicholas even sent emails with a copious number of knife emoji to all the “potato people” in the office to make sure they knew celebrations were off the table.) John ruins those plans because, surprising no one, he remains the world’s worst. He wraps up Molly’s entire office, fills it with flowers and candles, and sends a hologram of himself so they can duet on their old karaoke song (“A Whole New World”). While Howard and Ainsley seem pretty into it — Howard could never “leave Prince Ali hanging like that” — Molly’s exhausted by the whole thing.
Arthur might be the only person on the planet who can turn things around. First, he’s been through a messy divorce, too, so he understands how hard that one-year anniversary can hit. Second, all Molly wants to do today is cleanse herself of the final remnant from her marriage, her megayacht, and she needs Arthur’s help as she tries to get a complicated contract signed by Swedish billionaire Emil (played by Jim Rash). While both of those things are quite helpful, the most important way Arthur changes the trajectory of Molly’s birthday is by simply being himself. When Emil wants to do another walk-through of the yacht before signing papers, Molly’s obviously pretty down about it: She wants to get this all over with and fully move on. So what does a sweet boy do when he notices the girl he likes is feeling blue? Why, he takes her to the nearby mall, of course.
Molly and Arthur proceed to have the time of their lives. Molly relives her days of getting rashes from Claire’s jewelry and desperately wants an engraved frame from Things Remembered. Arthur regales her with stories of his bad-boy days: One time he ran up the down escalator. Mostly, they just have a great time hanging out together. You can actually see Molly realize she might feel a certain way about this guy as it’s happening. She admits she’s worried she ruined their friendship over what went down in Corsica. She knows it was a mistake and feels like people think less of her for it. But Arthur makes sure she knows that couldn’t be further from the truth. As his compliments start to turn obviously personal, he tries to pivot (something along the lines of how all women “slay the house down”), but Molly’s obviously moved. And when she catches Arthur helping an older woman with her trash, Molly has it bad for this guy. So bad, in fact, that when Emil calls to say he’s signing the papers and taking the yacht, Molly lies to Arthur and tells him Emil needs more time. She just wants to keep their cute little afternoon at the mall going. Now, that cute afternoon does end up with them in mall jail — a not so speedy chase on a motorized cow will do that — but Molly winds up buying the mall to get them out of any trouble (and also because malls are great and she wants to keep this one in business).
Meanwhile, the rest of the team is off canvassing to get community support for Space for Everyone. Everyone may have the best intentions with a friendly boys-versus-girls competition for how many people they can get to sign, but the boys don’t factor in one major obstacle they’ll be facing: They’re canvassing in the neighborhood where Nicholas lived in his early 20s and what they find is a whole string of very angry ex-boyfriends. After Nicholas is berated by several men and watches one shove a carrot through a juicer — Howard’s right, that’s definitely supposed to be Nicholas’s dong — Howard sits him down for a little heart-to-heart. He needs to think about how he’s treated people and maybe apologize for it. Nicholas balks at this at first, explaining that this is simply what gay dating is all about — “we annihilate each other emotionally and then move it along” — and that in the “sexual ecosystem, there are predators and there are prey.” But Howard wants him to rethink referring to himself as a sexual predator and also how he really hurt all of those guys.
So what starts out as a day of canvassing turns into Nicholas confronting some real truths about himself. It remains wild how good Loot is at sneaking in excellent character development in between nonstop jokes. The first apology starts off great, but it does quickly turn into a stream of consciousness in which Nicholas has an epiphany that his fear of rejection is related to a fear of death which is tied to his grandfather who he watched fall through some ice — “he froze to death, obviously, and so did I, emotionally” — and because he lost his virginity on that very same day, he can’t see an old, bald white man without a confusing mix of feelings including both loss and horniness.
It’s a big day for Nicholas and even if the boys only got one signature while Sofia, Ainsley, and Rhonda got over 300, everyone gets ice cream. And that’s exactly how Molly finds her team once she and Arthur return from their day at the mall, happily eating their treats. She realizes she has a lot to celebrate, they all do, and not just the fact that Ainsley met someone named “Jeremy Penis” that day. Birthday celebrations are back on! Nicholas breathes a sigh of relief because, despite all those knife emoji emails to other people, he did not cancel the party he planned for Molly: They’re all going to Las Vegas to see Mariah Carey perform.
As Molly’s about to leave, she notices Arthur isn’t joining them. He has to pick up his daughter, so he can’t go, but he does have a gift for Molly. Friends, lovers, countrymen, Arthur bought Molly an engraved picture frame from Things Remembered. Sure, her name is misspelled because he assumed the guy working there would know how to spell “Molly,” and it turns out he was very wrong, but it is very much the thought that counts. The gifts John bought her during their marriage, megayachts and otherwise, were all about John — about him showing off what he could buy — but this frame is all about Molly (or Molli, if you prefer). And now I’m just tearing up thinking about Arthur telling Molly to have an awesome birthday and her responding, “I already did” and then Loot dropping Mariah Carey’s “Emotions” on us as the credits roll. A perfect needle drop! No notes!
Notes From a Group Talk Session
• I love when Sofia’s extra-neurotic, nerdy side is in full display and that’s exactly what happens when she mixes her love of canvassing with competition. “The rush you get when someone says ‘sure, fine, whatever, I’ll sign’ — nothing beats it!”
• New information to file under the Ainsley lore: She belongs to “the Church of the Nine” but when asked “nine of what?” she creepily responds, “I don’t know, that’s what I’m trying to find out.”
• Also, Ainsley is the sweetest, most innocent human, and people just hating on her for it somehow remains a delight. She sings about the ice cream her team is going to win and a frustrated Howard yells at her: “Why are you being like this today, Ainsley?!”
• “I haven’t had ice cream since I started dieting at age 7, but I do like to win because winning is the only way to get people to like you, so I’m in.” Something tells me Nicholas might have some more soul-searching to do this season.
• Not enough of Jim Rash as the Swedish billionaire who hates “American wind” and has a 12-year-old assistant who looks 35.
• When one of Nicholas’s exes keeps correcting him because he can’t even get his first name right, Nicholas’s response is, “Well, we don’t have to be nerds about it.” A perfect response, I’m stealing it.