Bird App Recap: Goose Eggs
Your 2024 Chicago White Sox, making baseball history with every shutout ...
Hello friends, and welcome to another Bird App Recap!
The last time I tweet-capped Pale Hose happenings on a baseball diamond, the plucky South Siders bravely faced major league competition for the very first time in the young 2024 season. Too bad the White Sox failed to field a major league-quality squad on Day one, and have yet to do so as the first month of the season draws to a close.
The Sox, of course, lost on Opening Day, and have met a similar fate 17 more times entering play today, all while allowing nearly three times as many runs as they have scored. It hasn’t been pretty. I hope for your sake their putrid record and historically bad start is all news to you, but why would you be reading this if you weren’t paying far too much attention to a very bad team? Or are you simply a masochist who enjoys pain?
Scroll down, that should tell you everything you need to know ...
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Speaking of not fielding a major league caliber squad yet, here’s how beleaguered second-year manager Pedro Grifol set his lineup this evening as they open a four-game set at Target Field against the Minnesota Twins:
Tonight's #WhiteSox starters in Minnesota pic.twitter.com/zIGe4LQtzF
— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) April 22, 2024
Choices were certainly made.
If you have questions, like so many of us do, feel free to levy such concerns in the comments section. Just don’t ask me to make sense of any of his “decisions.”
Since I mentioned decisions, this is certainly one:
— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) April 22, 2024
We’re probably all better off if we stopped trying to make sense of this driverless clown car we can’t turn away from and just sit back, relax, and laugh at the carnage as the season careens even further off the rails. Laughter is the best medicine after all.
Lets get to those tweets, shall we?!
This is an actual tweet from the official White Sox account. Like, seriously?
Back on the bump pic.twitter.com/tjxenlWtud
— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) April 22, 2024
This was something they felt the need to tweet out in big bold letters?
Sorry, sorry sorry, there I go trying to make sense of the asinine. I promise to try and do better ...
The ineptitude was on full display early in this one. More bumbling Pale Hose at their finest.
Oh that Sox killer Kepler is back.
— Jacklyn Hilligoss (@JackHill43) April 22, 2024
More dumb baseball. That didn’t take long.
— Melissa Sage-Bollenbach (@soxmom72) April 22, 2024
Weren’t all of these grizzled retreads supposed to fix the defense?
two runs score because the #WhiteSox fielders are stupid. an insurmountable deficit already and that would be the ballgame pic.twitter.com/XTlOHYfaiO
— Adam (@acs614) April 22, 2024
#whitesox fundamentals. Down 2-0 Team is disgusting.
— Ken Ejka (@EjkaJr) April 22, 2024
I guess not.
Evergreen:
Whitesox gonna Whitesox #WhiteSox #changetheteam
— Superman (@Superman1078) April 22, 2024
Also evergreen ...
It's one thing to suck against Philly, but the Twins? Puke.
— Jacklyn Hilligoss (@JackHill43) April 23, 2024
Cannon rebounds after a rough first inning, erasing an earlier single with a double play and recording a strikeout.
Nice 2nd for Jonathan Cannon, 1B, GIDP, K. #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/M2mDEai54q
— FutureSox (@FutureSox) April 23, 2024
The Sox bats, though ...
Nine up, nine down for Twins righty Chris Paddack.
— Daryl Van Schouwen (@CST_soxvan) April 23, 2024
Meanwhile ...
Scheduled tweet #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/SjpAgqPMMm
— Mark Meyer (@MarkMeyerWx) April 23, 2024
9 up, 9 down. This offense is truly offensive… #WhiteSox
— Ryiin (@rfoto) April 23, 2024
Cannon comes back to earth in the third, and another laughable game ensues ...
As soon as I cut on the #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/4sdTsRzrgg
— Wendell JikaChikuAri ♂️ (@wenhardy) April 23, 2024
The Minnesota Twins were pretty much as offensively inept as the #WhiteSox coming in to this series. And here they are with a 5-0 lead in the 3rd inning. The Sox will be everyone’s slump buster and punching bag this season…
— Russell Hammond (@CoachBrian13) April 23, 2024
Whatever was ailing the Twins it seems the White Sox are the antidote.
— Tim (@stuewe18) April 23, 2024
No lies detected.
Can we just not have a season? Take us off the schedule. #WhiteSox
— TLO (@tlotvshow) April 23, 2024
If only ...
This ballclub is broken beyond repair #Whitesox
— ScoopaKoopa44 (@Azari44) April 23, 2024
#Truth
Don’t worry, White Sox. I’m not very good at playing baseball either.
— Chrystal O’Keefe (@chrystal_ok) April 23, 2024
More truth.
Twins were batting .195 coming in, but they've got seven hits in three innings tonight.
— Daryl Van Schouwen (@CST_soxvan) April 23, 2024
White Sox, who were no-hit into the seventh and eighth innings in Philadelphia Fri and Sat, looking for their first.
Robbie Grossman breaks up the no-hitter in the fourth, two hits later the bases are loaded, and then Paul DeJong happens ...
The Paul DeJong experience ladies and gents… pic.twitter.com/uatyTZC3p2
— Ryiin (@rfoto) April 23, 2024
Three damned pitches. Three. I can’t even ...
Jonathan Cannon and his 6.75 ERA on the bump for the #WhiteSox
— Ted (@tlschwerz) April 23, 2024
Chris Flexen and his 6.75 ERA warming in the pen.
We get it, we suck. But not as much as this tool ...
⚾ Edouard Julien doubles (3) on a sharp fly ball to center fielder Dominic Fletcher. Alex Kirilloff scores.
— MLB Run Tracker (@MLBRunTracker) April 23, 2024
Chicago White Sox 0 - Minnesota Twins 6
⬇️ 4th
That's it for Jonathan Cannon after Edouard Julien whacks an opposite field double to the wall in left center, scoring Kirillof. White Sox are down 6-0 to Twins, who have 9 hits. We're in the fourth.
— Daryl Van Schouwen (@CST_soxvan) April 23, 2024
Like Nastrini before him, Cannon had a good debut and followed by a bad encore
Rough second start for Cannon: 3 2⁄3 IP, 9 H, 6 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, 75 pitches.
6-0 bottom 4… this is FUN!!!
— Kevin (@chisoxfan328) April 23, 2024
At least we still have sarcasm and snark to soothe the pain ...
6 scoreless and 9K from a dude with an 8.36 ERA entering tonight. Yikes. #WhiteSox
— Ryiin (@rfoto) April 23, 2024
Every @MLB pitcher this year when they see they are facing the #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/rgG7ii7LaU
— Melissa Sage-Bollenbach (@soxmom72) April 23, 2024
All night, every night.
Andrew Vaughn 2-for-33 in last nine games, 6-for-55 in last 15. He's 0-for-3 tonight.
— Daryl Van Schouwen (@CST_soxvan) April 23, 2024
Futility, thy name is ...
Two tweets that sum up yet another train wreck:
#MNTwins Edouard Julien homers (5) 375ft on a fly ball to right off #WhiteSox Chris Flexen.
— MLB Home Runs (@mlb_home_runs) April 23, 2024
CHW 0 @ MIN 7; BOT 7
Chris Paddack's 10th K pic.twitter.com/ZPs7WPWzJj
— Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) April 23, 2024
Eighth inning of a lopsided affair:
Gavin Sheets: Not happy. #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/0Td75mAk6P
— FutureSox (@FutureSox) April 23, 2024
Oh sweetie honey, no. Maybe try playing respectable baseball first.
Even the Umps want to go home after this shit storm of a team that’s out there right now. #WhiteSox
— Justin Duty (@jdsvipers) April 23, 2024
And not a single soul can blame them.
I’ll probably ask this 110 times this year, but is today the last time Pedro Grifol manages the #WhiteSox?
— Clinton Cole (@cdcole55) April 23, 2024
Sadly, no. We can never be so lucky ...
At this point I feel like the White Sox have to just bring out their triple-a team. It cannot be any worse than the on-field product they are putting out there now.
— James Larsen (@RetroJames1999) April 23, 2024
Might as well try. Something has to give.
#whitesox pic.twitter.com/TZK5kIi11e
— Kevin Molloy (@Kevkev561) April 23, 2024
Don’t we all ...
Twins 7, Sox 0.
Sox fall to 3-19 and make history with their eighth shutout in their first 22 games. So, you know, winning?
2003 Tigers: 3-19, -63 run differential through 22
— Joe Resis (@JResis) April 23, 2024
2024 White Sox: 3-19, -78 run differential through 22
The 2003 Tigers finished 43-119.
Only 140 more of these to go, folks ...