Our heroes need our help. Four signs a first responder may be struggling
As a former law enforcement officer for almost 20 years and U.S. Air Force veteran, my life mission has shifted toward answering the call when fellow warriors show signs that they may need help rebuilding their lives. To raise awareness of how we can all help our nation’s heroes, here are four signs I’ve found that show a first responder may be struggling.
This story is much more than an opinion piece for me. This is an account of my life, and the lives of those who served with me. The struggle is a very real one. My heart aches as I write this knowing that as I sit here in my office, many of our nation’s best need help.
It was 8:16 a.m. on a day that started like it usually does. Roll call at 8:00 a.m., and then briefing my sergeant on special assignments for the day. Suddenly my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, and thought, that’s odd, he never calls.
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It was a fellow officer, who I considered a friend. Something about the call felt off. I answered and will never forget what he said, "I’m that guy Mike." I knew the voice, but it didn’t sound like the man I loved and admired.
This officer had almost two decades of experience, proudly wore a pressed uniform, was in great shape and always had the right words to say. The other end of the line was a slurring, crying, and upset officer, who was not making any sense.
I knew what this meant. My good friend was intoxicated to the point he could not put two words together at 8:00 a.m.. My mind raced on how to help my colleague and coworker who did the same difficult job. There is a lot more to this story, but fortunately, my friend received treatment for his alcohol use, is now nearly three years sober and thriving in every sense of the word.
This story is not as uncommon as one might imagine. Law enforcement officers, firefighters and EMS personnel are the best of us. Most would describe themselves as just common men and women doing a job. As a former law enforcement officer and veteran, I know that these career paths are anything but a job.
A life of service requires a special dedication far beyond what people might imagine. These career paths are what many might describe as a calling or purpose-driven life of service. Sounds pretty good right?
There is a more nefarious side to these jobs; however, the side that until recently garnered very little attention. Many first responders will not talk openly about the very visceral emotions that they deal with daily. America’s perspective on what exactly first responders do is often shaped by 10-second media clips where observers second-guess the split-second life altering decisions that are made every day.
What I can say without a shred of doubt is that this cycle comes at a heavy price for our nation’s heroes. Alcoholism, Post Traumatic Stress, anger, withdrawal and loneliness are all words synonymous with responders.
When joining these time-honored professions, most warriors want to help people, make a difference and positively impact people’s lives. Words like service, commitment and sacrifice roll off the tongues of new recruits with ease.
Chests filled with pride, badges where the world can see, boots shined to a mirror finish are all signs of a brand-new officer. In some circles, they may even refer to a rookie as "a boot," denoting the spit shined look of a new officer's boots.
I have spent a lot of time deconstructing my own journey and trying to really understand when the change happened. I changed over time and became someone my family did not recognize.
Looking back, which I don’t often do, I lament times when my wife said, "You sure have changed" or "Why are you so angry all the time?" The change happens early in a responder’s career. So, what are the signs? What should those of us who love, support and care for a first responder look for as warnings?
There are four areas that can be important signs of what may be happening with a first responder or veteran. This is not an exhaustive list and does not replace the advice of licensed trained professionals. These are simply the reflections of a former responder who has done the work and continues to do the work of being a husband, father and follower.
First, look for physical changes in your responder. You may see a once-healthy responder suddenly step away from regular exercise routines and replace nutrient rich foods with fast food. Shift work does not lend itself to healthy diets and regular exercise.
Encourage regular movement of the body. Much of what responders do is sedentary, so regular movement is incredibly critical. Weight gain is also very common. Weight may fluctuate up and down. According to Dr. Kevin Gilmartin, incremental weight gain and lack of sleep are the greatest indicators of stress in a responder.
The second area to look for is cognitive changes. In other words, how is information is being handled. The brain and body have a connectedness that depends on clarity of mind. With the day-to-day stress of the job, the information highway between the brain and body gets congested.
This overload can create a slowdown in how we process. We might forget simple tasks and refuse to plan or even think. A common interaction might be, "Honey what’s for dinner?" A response might be, "I don’t care, you decide, I don’t have the energy to think." Sound familiar?
The third area to watch is the emotional health of your responder. The once idealistic optimist with visions of saving lives and helping people is replaced with an angry, highly irritable cynic who is unwilling to consider other perspectives.
How does this shift happen? The answer is so clear. Trauma, stress and lack of support are just a few factors that point to the why behind this change.
And last, but certainly not least, are the behavioral changes you might start to see manifest. In my mind, these changes might be the most difficult to spot. You may notice behaviors such as being more willing to take risks. Many responders are self-professed adrenaline junkies.
Smaller and less noticeable behaviors may also be exhibited. For example, not wearing a protective vest or leaving behind important intermediate weapons. These behaviors may not be a sign of problems, but when coupled with other changes, there is a case to pay more attention.
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April is Alcohol Awareness Month, and it’s important to address substance use across these professions. I don’t have statistical data to back my recommendations but can offer an insider’s view after serving in a 2,300-officer department.
Alcohol abuse is very commonplace for first responders and veterans. Drinking is just a normal and accepted part of the culture. It’s a symptom defined by trauma and high stress jobs. Tardiness and absenteeism go hand in hand with responders struggling with substance use disorder.
Suicide rates are higher than ever. Some studies show that at the time of suicide, many responders had some level of intoxicants in their system. The toll of alcohol abuse is taking lives both directly and indirectly.
These challenges are not applicable to all responders. Some adapt and thrive in their career field, while others struggle silently because they feel a stigma or shame of asking for help.
As warriors and loved ones, please stay vigilant and seek help when needed. If you pick up the phone and dial 911, know that one of these extraordinary people will show up ready to do whatever it takes to help you because that is their level of commitment to their community, to us all.
It is our turn now to stand up and support our nation’s heroes. We all have a responsibility to answer the call when our responders seek support. If you or a warrior needs help with addiction, PTS or co-occurring issues, please contact Warriors Heart’s 24-hour hotline (866-955-4035) answered by warriors and/or visit https://warriorsheart.com/connect.